Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 15
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 141 - 150 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 10,
1994
Tags ratbert the consultant, analytical mind, business consultant, socially dysfunctional, brought in, consulatant
Transcript
Ratbert the Consultant Dogbert: It takes more than a brilliant analytical mind to be a business consultant, You also need to be arrogant and socially dysfunctional, Ratbert: Does anybody know what a consultant was brought in to do your thinking? anybody? anbbody?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday October 03,
1994
Tags consulting comany, executive compensation, ninety percent, overpaid, repeat business
Transcript
Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.
Wednesday October 05,
1994
Tags benefits, define reality, half the cost, keep objectives, rewrite business case, cut funding
Transcript
The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?
Monday October 10,
1994
Tags sales, two years, sudden surge, business case apporved, get promoted, accountability, business
Transcript
Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.
Monday October 24,
1994
Tags confidential, ethics offcie, weasel boy, ethics expert
Transcript
The Boss: "The company hired an ethics expert to help us through the gray areas." "Your calls to the ethics office are completely confidential." Dogbert: "Thanks for sharing that. I own you now, Weasel-boy."
Tuesday October 25,
1994
Tags ethics questions, co worker, pentium pc, run over foot, car accident, parking lot, Dilbert
Transcript
Wally: "I have a question for the Ethics office." "If my co-worker has a 'pentium' pc and I have a 386, is it okay to run over his foot in the parking lot?" "It seemed like a long-shot when I asked."
Thursday October 27,
1994
Tags dogbert ethics advisor, prodcut, mail people, high fees, procedure, ethics advice, return stupid prodcut
Transcript
"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."
Friday October 28,
1994
Tags new finance guy, hate automatically, justify photocopy, business case, make copies, pinch pennies, natural
Transcript
The Boss: Ray's our new finance guy. He's got a face that makes you hate him automatically. Dilbert: You're right, Im already heating I'm. The Boss: wait until he opens his mouth! Ray: From now on I want a business case to justify all of your photocopying. The Boss: is he a natural or what?!!
Thursday November 10,
1994
Tags business process, well designed porcess, compensate, apathy
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "As your consultant, I'll tell you how to improve your business processes." Dogbert continues, "I'll show you how a well-designed process can compensate for your sloth, apathy and all-around incompetence." Dogbert continues, "But most important: let's have fun."
Saturday November 26,
1994
Tags new name for group, engineering science research, designed business cards, long name, complicated
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I came up with a new name for our group." The Boss continues, "From now on we're the 'Engineering Science Research Technology Systems Information Quality and Excellence Center.'" Wally says, "You should throw 'efficiency' in there too." The Boss holds up a long piece of paper and says, "I designed the business cards myself."

