Business Spin Offs Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Spin Offs

View 141 - 150 results for business spin offs comic strips. Discover the best "Business Spin Offs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian spies, #stole lap top, #confidentail data, #virus, #destroy morale, #hope, #business plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #venture capitalist, #solar panel business, #cha- ching, #negotiate equity

View Transcript

Transcript

Vijay the venture capitalist Dogbert says, "We're going into the solar panel business." Vijay says, "CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" $$ Vijay says, "Pretend you didn't see that when I negotiate my equity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comments, #business plan, #hodge podeg, #unwarranted optimism, #impenetrable fortress, #buzzwords

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can you give me some comments on my business plan?" Wally says, "Sure." Wally says, "Your plan is a hodge-podge of unwarranted optimism encased in an impenetrable fortress of buzzwords." Dilbert says, "Would you like to read it?" Wally says, "There's that unwarranted optimism again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project not sexy, #transferring fnding, #arouses boss, #business school, #not covered

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spam filter, #rewrote business plan, #build an army, #indestructible robots, #new org chart, #microwave

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #merger talks, #business as usually, #happy, #yell, #take off shirt, #take off tie, #wide eyes, #surprise, #outburst, #shirtless, #bare chest, #plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We're in merger talks, but it's business as usual until it goes through." Wally says, "I'm free! My efforts won't influence my rewards!" The Boss says, "I said business as usual." Wally says, "I was totally planning to do this today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #sales, #travel, #business, #idiot, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tell joke, #business strategy, #laugh, #angry, #day job

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "What do you get when you combine cognitive bias with inaccurate information?" Coworker says, "Our business strategy! Hahahahahaha!!!" Coworker says, "I guess I should keep my day job." Dilbert says, "Good luck with that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #stealing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It's slow at work so I created my own internet business called Dilbertfiles.com woman says, "So you're stealing company resources?" Dilbert says, "I call myself a CEO." woman says, "I think I saw someone who isn't a miscreant."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #revenue, #firing, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "my side business Dilbertfiles.com, is getting lots of attention." Dilbert says, "I have a feeling I will soon be leaving my cubicle behind." Dogbert says, "Yep." Catbert says, "All in favor of firing this idiot for using company resources..."