Compile Family Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

151 Results for Compile Family

View 141 - 150 results for compile family comic strips. Discover the best "Compile Family" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #closeness, #favor, #benefit, #debate, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

Home Speaker Prototype

Thank you for voting.
Home Speaker Prototype - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #robot, #speaker, #invention, #sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

Thank you for voting.
Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #blackmail, #extortion, #spying, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Boring And Needy Children

Thank you for voting.
Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

Boss Acts Interested

Thank you for voting.
Boss Acts Interested - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #single, #childless, #article, #productive, #kick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: How's your family? Dilbert: I'm still single and childless. Are you acting interested in me because you saw an article saying it would make me more productive? The Boss: Apparently it doesn't kick in right away.

Carol Raises Money For School

Thank you for voting.
Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #guilt, #office, #office workers, #sales, #sarcasm, #school

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

Selling Chocolate For School

Thank you for voting.
Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sales, #school, #capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #communication, #conversation, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #marriage, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is the smart one in the family. Everything I know about management I learned from her. Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: Whatever. Dilbert: Whatever? Are you mad at me? Boss: No, not at all. Everything is fine. Dilbert: If you have a problem with me, why don't you just tell me? Boss: It's nothing. Carol: She taught you well.

Meeting Robot's Son

Thank you for voting.
Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #hungry, #Kids, #robot, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

Robot Baby Mama

Thank you for voting.
Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #complaining, #family & parenting, #relationships, #robot, #humans, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.