Concept Of Time Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for concept of time comic strips. Discover the best "Concept Of Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee with boss, #one hour, #quality time, #rather staple skunk, #snarky remarks, #cutting insulting

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The Boss says to Carol, "I call my idea 'Coffee with the Boss.' Each employee will get one hour of quality time with me." Carol responds, "I'd rather staple a skunk to my forehead and go to a trade show for banjo makers." Carol continues, "And yet, it's still better than working, so count me in." The Boss replies, "That's the spirit!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selling stock options, #made fortune, #now bankrupt, #401k worthless, #stolen savings, #bad time, #make quote marks, #in effect

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Alice says to The Boss, "You made a fortune selling your stock options last month and now we're bankrupt." Alice continues, "My 401l is worthless. So, in effect, you've stolen my life savings." Alice yells, "This would be a bad time to make quote marks in the air while saying, 'in effect.'" The Boss has his hands raised to make quote marks. He stops and says, "Ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defrauding stockholders, #serve time, #rommie, #burp, #wally and boss, #arrested, #jail

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The judge says, "The court finds you guilty of defrauding stockholders." The judge's voice continues, "You will serve your time in a place so horrible that it has no name." The Boss looks terrified. A police officer brings The Boss into Wally's cubicle and says, "Here's your roomie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil hr director, #flex time, #long hours, #eight to five, #unpaid overtime, #need to be flexible

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Catbert addresses a meeting, "From now on, the company will allow flex time." Catbert continues, "You can work any hours you like, as long as you're here from eight to five." Dilbert turns and says, "That's called unpaid overtime." Catbert replies, "And you need to be flexible to do that yourself, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #i.t function, #outsource, #save money, #corporations, #full time employees, #reaplce, #panic, #warning sound

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The Boss points to a slide and says, "We'll save money by outsourcing our I.T. function." The Boss continues, "Then we'll save more money by replacing our outsourcing with full-time employees!" Wally responds, "When it's time for us to panic, will there be a warning sound, or was that it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #just in time, #inventory, #strategy, #deepest sympathy, #sharp stabbing pain, #promises

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Dilbert is meeting with a client. The client says, "My company is moving to a 'Just in Time' inventory strategy. You'll deliver when we need it." Dilbert responds, "So.. your success depends on my company doing what it promises? You have my deepest sympathy." The client points to his own chest and says, "I feel a sharp, stabbing pain in my chest." Dilbert replies, "And so it begins."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ruler of heck, #devils advocate, #do devil work, #not certified, #sarcastic, #good time, #move on

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The Boss introduces Phil to a meeting, "I've hired Phil, the ruler of heck, to act as devil's advocate." Phil responds, "I'm not certified to do devil work. The best I can do is roll my eyes and be sarcastic." The Boss says, "Okay... moving on..." Phil rolls his eyes and says, "Oh yeah, this is a good time to move on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #casino for morons, #concept, #court room, #Dogbert, #gaming commission, #ratbert, #room full dolts, #jury, #legal

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Headline: Gaming Commission. Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting at a table. Dogbert says into a microphone, "My concept is a casino exclusively for morons." Dogbert continues, "Imagine a room full of oblivious dolts, and I'm taking advantage of them for personal gain." A woman on the commission asks, "When would that concept begin?" Dogbert replies, "About a minute ago."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #touch prototype, #get shock, #must touch, #zap, #second time

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Dilbert is wearing a lab coat and goggles; he's working on a new device. Dilbert says to The Boss, "Don't touch the prototype or you'll get a shock." The Boss thinks, "Must touch." The Boss is shocked into particles, "Zap!!" The Boss is burnt and torn up. Dilbert says, "Don't touch it a second time." The Boss thinks, "Must.. touch.. second.. time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new server, #condescending simple version, #full technical explination, #early covislaizations, #no concept of zero

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The Boss: Tell me why you need a new server. and don't give me the condescending simple version for managers. I want a full technical explanation. Dilbert: Early civilizations had no concept of zero. The Boss: Go on.