Corporate Vice Presdient Comic Strips - Page 15
153 Results for Corporate Vice Presdient
View 141 - 150 results for corporate vice presdient comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Vice Presdient" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 03, 2002's comic on:
Tina says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What if we pollute less?" Tina exclaims, "Yes, yes! That's what I'm talking about. We could pollute less!" The Boss says, "Okay, take a bucket to the river and see how much of our sludge you can get out." Tina asks, "Where would I put it?" Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or has the coffee improved?" Wally exclaims, "Zesty!"
Share February 18, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.
Share March 16, 2015's comic on:
CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?
Share March 18, 2015's comic on:
Wally: You're looking at the new vice president of zombie projects. The projects that will neither succeed nor be canceled are transferred to me so the other VP's avoid their taint. Alice: I guess that makes you the company's taint. Wally: I wear that label proudly.
Share October 16, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.
Share October 23, 2015's comic on:
CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.
Share June 24, 2017's comic on:
Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.
Share July 19, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!
Share August 30, 2017's comic on:
Share November 06, 2017's comic on:
Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.