Da Vinci Code Comic Strips - Page 15
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150 Results for Da Vinci Code
View 141 - 150 results for da vinci code comic strips. Discover the best "Da Vinci Code" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 08,
2017
Dilbert Is Under Budget
Tags #project, #budget, #money, #stealing, #embezzlement, #consequences
Transcript
Ted: You charged expenses to my project code. Dilbert: I had to because I don't have a budget. Ted: This will make it seem as if I went over budget while you didn't spend a penny. Dilbert: Good point. Wally: How's your project coming along with no budget? Dilbert: Better than I'd hoped.
Tuesday July 18,
2017
Ted Promoted To Software Architect
Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.
Saturday July 22,
2017
Bad At Your Job
Tags #managers, #instructions, #directions, #insubordinate
Transcript
Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.
Sunday September 03,
2017
Tags #customer service, #loyalty program, #survey, #frustration
Transcript
Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.
Wednesday January 31,
2018
Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code
Tags #government, #back door, #self driving, #software, #kill terrorits, #traitor, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor
Saturday November 24,
2018
Ai Can Control Minds
Tags #control, #intelligence, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #humans
Transcript
Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.
Tuesday January 08,
2019
First Ai As Smart As Humans
Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.
Sunday May 10,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support
Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius
Transcript
boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!
Tuesday May 19,
2020
No Lunch With You
Tags #diseases, #lunch, #office workers, #rejection, #virus, #pandemic, #invitation, #social distancing
Transcript
Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.
Tuesday November 03,
2020
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #blockchain, #byte, #code, #consensus, #bluff
Transcript
boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.