Days Of Our Lives Comic Strips - Page 15

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223 Results for Days Of Our Lives

View 141 - 150 results for days of our lives comic strips. Discover the best "Days Of Our Lives" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need approval, #exhausted, #bored, #head ache, #business travel

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Dilbert: "I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" The Boss: "I must be traveling right now!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted

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The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes

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Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails

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"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absent mindedness, #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #entrpenuer, #bullying, #lying, #manipulation, #verbal abuse, #huge jerk, #biograophy, #business

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Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inflamed coccyx, #unnecessary body parts, #surgery over work, #napping, #slacker, #watch tv

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"Do you have a price sheet for removing unnecessary body parts?" "I wouldn't mind a few days away from work, being waited on, watching TV and napping." "You have an inflamed coccyx?" "Yeah, it's gotta go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temporary blindness, #presciption, #dopey, #flashes of obvious

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Doctor: It's temporary blindness caused by your boss's flashes of the obvious. " doctor: Let Dogbert guide you for a few days. And here's a prescription to make you dopey." Dilbert: "Now?" Dogbert: "Whatever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blinding flashes, #sightless, #didn't drive car, #can't do that

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Your blinding flashes of the obvius made me sightless for three days. "I hope you didn't drive your car. You're not supoosed to do that when you're blind." "GAAA!!!" "I'm upsetting you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relocatating, #better cubicle, #team of movers, #boxed possessions, #undisclosed location, #laminate company id

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Asok is packing boxes. He tells Dilbert, "I'm relocating to a better cubicle." Asok continues, "Tonight a team of movers will take my boxed possessions to an undisclosed location." Asok continues, "They're also going to laminate my company I.D." Asok continues, "I'm supposed to leave it with the guard on the way out." Asok holds up a check and says, "And I got paid two days early!" Asok continues, "It's all because management appreciated the constructive criticism I posted on the message board." Asok folds his arms proudly and says, "As I hoped, my condescending tone helped them to see their folly." Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I rifle through your boxes and take office supplies?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hating software, #integration project, #hate it, #simply mentioned, #pros and cons, #balanced anaysis, #hatred

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The Boss: What's this I hear about you hating the software integration project? Dilbert: "I don't hate it. I simply mentioned both the pros and cons. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred." The Boss: "How can you hate it so much???!!" Dilbert: "This is one of those days when it's hard to be me."