Dna Test Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for dna test comic strips. Discover the best "Dna Test" comics from Dilbert.com.

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"Human resources tells me that you refused to take the random drug test." "I didn't refuse. I literally can't do it because I have a shy bladder. It's a medical condition that 7% of men have." "I hope you will understand." "It's a side effect of the nose candy, right?"

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"If you don't give us a urine sample to test, I have to fire you." "How about a hair sample to test instead?" "How do I know it's your hair?" "You can take the sample yourself." "Add this to the list of things you shouldn't trust human resources to do."

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"I'm Betty the Bulldozer, and I always get what I want!" "Drop everything and start doing my bidding now, intern!" "This was just a test. Wait here until I need something." shiver

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I never reviewed the design. "Yes you did. Here's a copy of your e-mail." "This is hardly conclusive. Did you get any DNA evidence?" "What was all that screaming?" "I had to collect some DNA."

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"This product will leapfrog the iPod and provide pleasure to all five of your senses." "The user can download pictures, smells, tastes, and celebrity tickling patterns." "The test group preferred it over eating. They're all dead." "It has the coolness factor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antique thing, defective prodcuts, free up funds, larger volume, longer test, sales force, quality control budget

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The Boss says, "I cut the quality control budget to free up funds to increase our sales force." Dilbert says, "So your strategy is to sell a larger volume of defective products?" The Boss says, "The quality will be fine. The tests will just take longer." Dilbert says, "So...It's an antique thing?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags basic research, donuts, stupid, increase profits, stern, sit in chair, first bite

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Wally says, "I'm doing basic research to test my theory that donuts make other people stupid." The Boss says, "I expect you to do basic research that will increase our profits this quarter." Wally says, "Wow. It works on the first bite."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company lawyer, recall, poisonous spines, shake hands, quality assurance, arms out

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Company Lawyer Lawyer says, "We should consider doing a recall on our product." Lawyer says, "When it warms up, it explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interview, job, hanging, ridiculous, humiliation, business

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Dogbert says, "In your first round of interviews we tested your reaction to humiliation and small arms fire." Dogbert says, "In round two I will test your ability to keep company secrets." Ratbert says, "When are you going to tell him this is a courtesy interview?" Dilbert says, "What?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, presentation, misdirection, confused, business

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Director of Marketecture Director of Marketecture says, "It is better to seem good than to be good." Being Good (overrated) Director of Marketecture says, "A misleading benchmark test can accomplish in minutes what years of good engineering can never do." Alice says, "Is it our maturity that makes that concept sound okay?" Dilbert says, "I hope so."