Doing Comic Strips - Page 15
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The male office rebel with the spiked hair extends shakes Dilbert's hand and says, "You must be the new office rebel we heard about. Nice bathrobe." The other pierced male rebel says, "We're called rebels because we're easily manipulated into doing stupid things." Spiked hair rebel raises the roof and says, "Give it up fpr us! Whoo whoo!" Dilbert says, "I dare you to use branding irons on each other right now." Spiked haired says, "Start the fire!"
The Boss sits in a meeting. The boss says, "Reorganizing didn't work. We're going to try something new." The boss says, "Synergystic realignment!" Wally and Dilbert look at Asok who stands with his hands over his head. Dilbert says, "What did I tell you about doing "the wave"?" Asok says, "I got swept up in the emotion."
Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting in front of each other. Dogbert says: "Now I'll use my hype-inflated stock to buy companies that have a real value." Dogbert tells Ratbert: "The lesson is that hype always triumphs over substance." Dogbert says to Ratbert: "How's your moral compass doing?" Ratbert answers: "Spinning, just like you said it would!"
Caption reads: "Performance Review." The Boss says, "Let's see how many of your objectives you met." Dilbert asks, "What objectives?" The Boss looks at a piece of pape and says, "Didn't you know you had objectives?" Dilbert replies, "I don't see how I would have had time to work on objectives." Dilbert continues, "My schedule was packed." The Boss asks, "Doing what?" Dilbert replies, "Every morning you leave things on my chair with a sign that says, 'Urgent: Handle this.'" The Boss replies, "No I don't." Dilbert walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, can I see a sample of your handwriting?" Wally thinks, "Uh-oh."
Dogbert investments: Dogbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Dogbert says to the boss: "For a 1% annual fee I will invest your money with a certified financial planner." Dogbert says: "He'll charge 1% per year to put your money in mutual funds that charge 1% per year." The boss asks: "Will I make any money?" Dogbert answers: " I don't see you doing any of the work."
The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."
Dilbert tells the Boss: "As requested, I came up with a plan for doing more work with fewer people." He points to a picture of a contraption: "A future version of me will arrive via time machine to help on the project..." He continues: "...unless you say something now that makes me unmotivated."
Standing on a table Catbert says to Asok the Intern, "Wally is out on disability. I want you to spy on him." Catbert goes on to say, with arms raised "We need video evidence of Wally doing a vigorous activity." Asok the Intern asks Alice while she faces the computer, "Can you think of anything that Wally does vigorously?" Alice replies without facing Asok the Intern, "I'd rather not."
The Boss says to Alice, "I've decided to manage like a sadistic game show host." The Boss continues, "Because it would be insane if I kept doing what didn't work." The Boss asks Alice, "Would you rather have a performance review or be pecked to death by trained birds?"
Dilbert approaches Ming and says, "Ming, our website needs a FAQ section." Ming replies, "I find your suggestion ignorant and without merit. Away with you." Dilbert, unaffected by her response asks "So...are you doing anything this weekend?" Ming sighs, "Gaaa!!"