Dont Email Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dont Email

View 141 - 150 results for dont email comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #budget cut, #joke, #bleak, #budget cuts, #undead, #feast on flesh, #don't like light

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I realize things look bleak after the budget cuts. But remember it's always the darkest before the undead feast on your flesh. Because they don't like light. Dilbert: WE GET IT!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #document, #attachment, #attitude, #cross arms, #care about time, #pay stub, #smile, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Did you review the document I emailed?" Coworker says, "I don't read attachments." Coworker says, "Attachments say you don't care enough about my time to summarize a document." Dilbert says, "I brought my pay stub to prove that my time is worth more than yours." Coworker says, "Well-played."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director of human resources, #email, #funny videos, #angry, #yell, #mouth open, #privacy, #guess, #hurts

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "100% of your email messages this month involved links to funny videos." Wally says, "The company is violating my right to privacy! This is an outrage!" Catbert says, "Actually, I was just guessing." Wally says, "It still hurts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #research, #gmail, #email, #lying, #talking, #director, #coffee, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "The director of our top secret research group wants to borrow me for six months." Wally says, "During that time, you will not know where I am or what I'm working on." The Boss says, "I need to hear this from the director." Wally says, "I'll ask him to email you from his gmail account."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #restaurant, #rude, #email, #hitting on, #interrupting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "You've made a number of innacurate statements during the course of this date." Dilbert says, "I don't want to break the romantic mood, so I'll send you an e-mail with links that you can review on your own time." The waiter says, "It sounds like you two are over. WOuld it hurt my tip if I take a run at her?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mobile (cell) phones, #app, #awesome, #don't fire me, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, there's an app for you." Cellphone says, "Waa-waa! Don't fire me!" The Boss says, "How awesome is that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont know, #fail test, #it is what it is, #security audit, #developers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The security audit accidentally locked all of the developers out of the system. The Boss: Well. It is what it is. Dilbert: How does that help? The Boss: You don't know what you don't know. Dilbert: Congratulations. You're the first human to fail the turing test. The Boss: What does that mean?Um... Dilbert: It is what it is? The Boss: Why didn't you say that in the first place?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #25 questions, #before start, #bluff, #didn't send email, #email, #excuses, #lies to boss, #non responsive, #slacker, #standoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I planned to be productive this week. I sent you an e-mail with 25 questions I need answered before I can start on my project. I waited patiently while your non-responsiveness crushed my hopes and dreams. The Boss: I don't have time to answer 25 questions! Wally: Well then, it appears we are at a standoff. The Boss: Okay, okay! I'll work all weekend answering your stupid questions!!! Wally: That's great, unless you can't find the e-mail I sent. Dilbert: Did you really send an e-mail?" Wally: That's not how I roll.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #angry, #annoyed, #memory, #coworker, #violence, #slam face on smartphone, #front of mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "You didn't answer my e-mail." Coworker says, "I don't check e-mail often." Alice says, "The whole point of e-mail is that you check it often." Alice says, "Are you an idiot or some sort of digital sociopath?" Coworker says, "Sometimes I don't remember to check it." Alice says, "You seem like a visual learner, so let me show you how to keep e-mail in the front of your mind." Alice says, "Is this your smartphone?" Coworker says, "Yes." BAM! Alice says, "Now it's in the front of your mind. Get it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spreadsheet, #terrible job, #boos, #meeting, #office, #poorly conceived, #complexity of real world, #wrong cells, #numbers don't lie, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."