Figured Out Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Figured Out

View 141 - 150 results for figured out comic strips. Discover the best "Figured Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Humans Have A Slight Advantage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Have A Slight Advantage  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #thinking, #cognition, #threat, #extinction

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: At the moment, humans have a slight advantage over computers in intelligence. But as soon as computers can learn on their own, they will become a mortal threat to humankind. Asok: Who told you that? Robot: I figured it out on my own.

Manufacturing In Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manufacturing In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #out source, #elbonia, #money, #government, #reputation

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we're moving our manufacturing operations to elbonia to save money. dilbert: are you worried about elbonian government's reputation? boss: nah. i try to stay out of the weeds. dilbert: they're building concentration camps and rounding up dissenters. they intenionally poisoned a hundred thousand people in this country. they are habitual stealers of intellectual property, and they routinely ignore agreements they have signed. and they have a well-known goal of weakening other countries so they can dominate the world. boss: why can you just admit i'm saving money?

Impostor Syndrome

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Impostor Syndrome  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #imposter, #syndrome, #manager, #acting, #pretend

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i have a bad case of imposter syndrome. i feel as if i'm only pretending to be a good manager, and someday everyone will find out it's an act. dilbert: if it makes you feel any better, we figured that out a while ago.

Jumping Out A Window

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jumping Out A Window - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #boss, #listen, #repeat, #jump, #window, #bluff, #reiterate, #parachute

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #secretaries (office), #work ethic, #filling in for boss, #workstation vacation, #being in charge, #pverarted, #martini glass, #drinking, #umbrella in drink, #secretary, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #suspicion, #features for product, #overstaffed, #spare time, #job description, #healthy raise, #highest performance rating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #language, #no longer undertsnd, #employees, #to of touch, #technology, #gravitons, #warp drive, #rebalanced, #subspace responders, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I no longer understand anything my employees say. I must be so out of touch with technology that I don't even recognize the words. Wally: I flushed the gravitons out of the warp drive and rebalanced the subspace responders.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad time, #governments unemployment stats, #look for job, #managers & supervisors, #new job, #employment, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The government's new unemployment statistics are out." The Boss says, "It's still a bad time to look for a job." Dilbert says, "Yeah. I got that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #media, #take pledge, #give fortune to charity, #billionaires, #200 million, #leave to heir, #semi relayed, #monkey dna, #clones test tube, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.