Fix The Bugs Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

165 Results for Fix The Bugs

View 141 - 150 results for fix the bugs comic strips. Discover the best "Fix The Bugs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Learns Human Behavior

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns Human Behavior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #coffee, #bug, #robot, #sexist, #racist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I built a robot that learns human behavior by observation. By the end of the first week it was a sexist, racist idiot. The Boss: Can you fix that bug? Dilbert: Some say climate change will get it done.

Wally Has An Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #work, #criteria, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have an idea on how to fix our process. Alice: I've noticed that all of your ideas make everyone but you work harder. Wally: Apparently, we have different criteria for what makes an idea great.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?

Being More Nimble

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

Helping Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #frustration, #help, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

How Long Will It Take

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long Will It Take - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: how long will it take to fix the bug? dilbert: that depends. how long will you stand behind me and interrupt me? the boss: how should i know? i can't see the future?

Wally Needs A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.

Boss Edits Dumb Parts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Edits Dumb Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #edit

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i edited your draft to fix all of the dumb parts. it's in your email. the boss: when do you think you will publish it? dilbert: depends how long it takes me to reverse all of your edits. undo undo undo.

Counting Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Counting Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.