Halfway Done Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

340 Results for Halfway Done

View 141 - 150 results for halfway done comic strips. Discover the best "Halfway Done" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #impossible assignment, #right place, #reword, #objectives, #match, #analyzed, #feasibility, #project, #discontinue

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "Can you help me weasel out of an impossible assignment?" Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dogbert continues, "Gradually reword the objectives of the project until one day they match what you've already done." Headline: Six Months Later. Dilbert says to The Boss, "I successfully analyzed the feasibility of discontinuing the project." The Boss responds, "Success!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project summaries, #summarize summary, #doomed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Asok some papers and says, "Asok, take these project summaries and summarize them into one summary." The Boss continues, "And when you're done, take that summary and summarize it." Asok approaches Dilbert and asks, "What is a shorter word for doomed?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #customer success, #closest things, #complaint letters, #few words, #kick to kiss, #change context, #reviews, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disappointing people, #meeting start late, #answer is misleading, #deadline ignored, #work is shoddy, #empthy, #blocking view of wall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Lately, every person I deal with seems to disappoint me." Dilbert: "Every meeting starts late, every answer is misleading, every deadline is ignored, and all work is shoddily done." DIlbert: "I guess what I'm saying is that today I need some empathy." Dogbert: "You are totally blocking my view of the wall."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #different decsions, #iq 240, #intuition and experence, #chinese astrology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I've noticed that every decision you make is different from what I would have done. My IQ is 240. Your IQ aspires to th three-digit range, I assume that your intuition and experience are guiding you. Please be that. The Boss: Chinese astrology!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #party, #phone number, #information, #email, #voicemail, #home phone, #offcie, #work email, #personal website, #too much info, #skeleton, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #global economy, #vibrant, #fly bait, #reformatted, #disguise true objective

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "It's workers like me that make the global economy so vibrant." Carol: "The pointy-haired fly-bait wants this reformatted to disguise his true objective." Carol: "When you're done, don't show it anyone. No one cares." Dilbert: "Zesty!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airplane, #flight, #seats, #no room, #sleep, #six hour flight, #recline seat, #sleeper, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Six - hour flight. I can get lots of work done, Six hour flight. I can get lost of sleep. Dilbert: I can't feel my hands!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #menagerlike work, #criticize, #reorganize, #key board, #hot slef, #noredom, #offcie, #re organizing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.