Highest Paid Engineer Comic Strips - Page 15
401 Results for Highest Paid Engineer
View 141 - 150 results for highest paid engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Highest Paid Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 29, 2004's comic on:
Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"
Share December 09, 2004's comic on:
Let me explain what video compression is... "Would you stop if I pointed out that everyone in this room except you is an electrical engineer?" "Zeros are round and fat compared to ones..." "I'm begging you..."
Share May 09, 1999's comic on:
Tags #few upgrades to design, #realize engineer, #graduate of liberal arts, #college, #broad exposure, #modern renaissance, #timing circuit, #moby dick, #charles dickens, #engineering classes, #poor engineers, #work is small, #education
The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."
Share June 20, 1999's comic on:
Title reads: "Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert is at his desk. He says to Dilbert, "I hired a new engineer for your project." Catbert unveils the new engineer. He is a joke. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, his eyes are wide, his collar is up and one side of his shirt is untucked. Catbert says, "He's never been an engineer before." Dilbert listens as Catbert continues, "But YOU'RE an engineer, so how hard could it be?" Catbert adds, "And he's cheap! I'll get a huge raise for being under budget." Dilbert is getting furious. Catbert exclaims, "And your project will fail! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" As the new engineer reaches towards him, Catbert realizes, "Uh-oh. I laughed myself full of static electricity." The new engineer thinks, "Fuzzy. Cute." and pets Catbert. "Zap!" Dilbert, standing over the body of the new engineer, asks, "He's dead. Now what?" Catbert replies, "I guess you'll have to drag him to the meetings."
Share October 03, 1999's comic on:
Mordac, arms spread in exclamation, says to a seated Dilbert, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services!!" Mordac points at Dilbert and says, "You have exceeded your allocation of disk space on the server!" Mordac says, "I sentence you to one week without e-mail." Dilbert says, "No problem." Mordac says, "No problem? How can an engineer survive without e-mail?" Mordac points to the wall and says, "UP AGAINST THE WALL!!" Mordac frisks Dilbert and says, "WHERE IS IT? Dilbert says to Dogbert, "He found the modem taped to my ankle but he missed my wireless pen modem." loremipsum
Share April 26, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."
Share April 28, 2005's comic on:
Tina: Oh No. It's a technical glitch that I don't know how to fix. "GAA! NOw I must humble myself to some condescending engineer and ask for help!" Alice: "And how did I teach you to ask?" Tina: "I'm sorry that I spent my college years drinking beer and studying English literature."
Share June 04, 2005's comic on:
Share July 01, 2005's comic on:
RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."
Share April 18, 2006's comic on:
"Dilbert says my plan won't work. I need a second opinion." "Hypothetically, if I say your plan is terrific, would I end up being the engineer who has to implement it?" "Maybe." "Your plan reeks of infeasibility."