Hr Approval Comic Strips - Page 15

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161 Results for Hr Approval

View 141 - 150 results for hr approval comic strips. Discover the best "Hr Approval" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, compliment, compliments, insult, insulting, work ethic, technical skills, perfect attendance, risk averse, no social life, irrational needs, code writing puppet

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Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

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Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

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Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags numbers, budget, obliviousness, approval, disease, contagious, managers, executives, accuracy, fantasy

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CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

Ted Has A Ravine Option

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Ted Has A Ravine Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, empathy, hr, human resources, mean, guest artist, brenna thummler, business

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Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.

Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot

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Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, working from home, work ethic, technology, bot

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Wally: I got approval to work from home. My chatbot will answer all of my emails and text messages. Dilbert: Chatbot answers would be useless. Wally: I hope so. Otherwise it wouldn't sound like me.

Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies

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Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, hr, funeral, time off, bereavement, business

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Wally: I need to take some bereavement time, with pay, because my cousin Ronnie died. Catbert: Cousins don't count unless you married one. Wally: We were domestic partners. What's the police on that, you bigot?

Get Multiple Approvals

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Get Multiple Approvals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, problems, work, frustration

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Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.

Ask The Other Director

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Ask The Other Director - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reorganization, logic, managers, solutions, cheating

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Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.

Accused Of Forgery

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Accused Of Forgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, performance, forgery, pessimism, giving up, resistance

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Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business

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Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Alice Gives Approval

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Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deal, support, negotiations

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.