Improve Situation Comic Strips - Page 15
155 Results for Improve Situation
View 141 - 150 results for improve situation comic strips. Discover the best "Improve Situation" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 07, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.
Share September 04, 2016's comic on:
Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.
Share November 11, 2016's comic on:
Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.
Share March 26, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!
Share April 10, 2017's comic on:
Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.
Share June 29, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.
Share August 06, 2017's comic on:
Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?
Share August 18, 2017's comic on:
Wally: Meetings used to be frustrating and boring until I gamified that situation. Now I try to win meetings by criticizing co-workers offering no ideas of my own, and leaving without any new task. Dilbert: You call that winning? Wally: Compared to my victims, yes.
Share September 15, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Robot, I'd like you to meet Randy. He has no soul, just like you. Robot: What's the etiquette for this situation? Do we high-five, then kill the soul-bag where he stands? Dilbert: I can hear you. Randy: He makes a good point. It would be better to surprise him.
Share July 23, 2018's comic on:
Boss: We have only two choices, and both of them are bad. SO we'll do the only smart thing we can do in this situation. Dilbert: Choose the path that is least bad? Boss: I was going to say pick the path that hurts our enemies the most, but you're ruining it with your talking.