In Sales Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

197 Results for In Sales

View 141 - 150 results for in sales comic strips. Discover the best "In Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #request, #broken computer, #borrow one, #selfish tools, #coffee stirres

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #powerpoint, #slides, #presentation, #monkey, #outsource, #pointing, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "If we migrate our enterprise applications to the web, and outsource our sales and product development?" Dilbert says, "The entire company can be managed by one monkey." Dilbert says, "Plus a second monkey to look at the powerpoint slides from the first monkey."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pinocchio, #nose grows, #long nose, #doctor, #exam, #stethoscope, #lies, #powerpoint, #proboscis, #nose through head, #pain, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor says, "You have a wicked case of sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis." Doctor says, "Your nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." Asok says, "Sorry. The sales forecast seemed optimistic."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #customer, #wear jacket, #lazy, #optimism, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #interview, #disappointment, #humiliation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #confrontation, #hunchback, #deformed, #boss, #ridiculous, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert : VP of sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, you're scaring all of our customers." Ratbert says, "Try to be less pitchforkable." Ratbert says, "Seriously. Can you do that?" Humphrey says, "Who wants a hug?!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #raising, #hands, #cruel, #threat, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: VP of sales Ratbert says, "I'm accompanying Humphrey on this sales call so he can learn from the master." Ratbert says, "I'll begin by giving you something, thus triggering your need to reciprocate." Ratbert says, "Who wants to hit Humphrey with a shovel?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #news, #deception, #evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Sales are tanking because our online reviews are awful." The boss says, "Cripple a feature and change the model number so the online reviews look stale." Dilbert says, "Wow. That was a lot of evil packed into one sentence." The boss says, "Thank you."