Labor Saving Software Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

364 Results for Labor Saving Software

View 141 - 150 results for labor saving software comic strips. Discover the best "Labor Saving Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #travel budget, #training budget, #training support, #software busdget, #training, #mandatory software upgarde, #brains

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our travel budget is shot. The Boss: We'll take money out of the training budget. Dilbert: We need training to support our new product. The Boss: We'll use the software budget for training. Asok: We need to do a mandatory software upgrade. Fine. Move some money from teh travel budget to the software budget. The Boss: Geez, you people do nothing but complain. Meanwhile I'm managing my brains out. Alice: I wondered what happened to them. The boss: Happened to what?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no rasie, #oo many questions, #can't do job, #saved emails, #policies and procedures, #misperception, #buy software, #permission, #emails, #another question

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "I can't give you a raise because you ask me too many questions." "That's a sign that you can't do your job." Dilbert: "I anticipated your misperception and prepared for it." "I saved all of my e-mails and matched them to your policies and procedures." "For example, this is your e-mail saying we need your permission to buy software." "And here's my e-mail asking if I can buy some software." "Should I run through the other seven hundred documented examples?" The Boss: "There you go asking another question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management software, #track 3, #least valuable asset, #noise cancellation, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, I bought Dogbert's Management Software to yell at you so I don't have to." "I recommend Track 3, titled 'You're my least valuable asset'." Dogbert: Who wants to buy Dogbert's noise cancellation headphones for bad employees?" "I need you less than my mousepad."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typo in budget, #2 things, #can't buy, #hardware, #software, #boss, #offcie, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I made a typo in my annual budget request, but don't worry." "There are only two things you can't buy for the test lab this year." "Hardware and software."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #price quite, #taxes, #shipping, #cable, #carts, #software, #memory, #upgrades, #maintence, #insurance, #needy, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"That price quote includes everything!" Dilbert: "What about taxes, shipping, cables, carts, software, memory upgrades, maintenance and insurance?" "Has anyone ever called you needy?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emailed file, #accomplishments, #entire month, #open the file, #down load, #browser, #upgrade broswer, #operating system, #upagrde, #software, #hard disk, #view of file, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"My accomplishement this month was opening a file that someone e-mailed." "That took an entire month?" "It wasn't that easy. I didn't have the right software to open the file." "I tried to download the viewer from the Internet but the Web site didn't support my browser." "And I couldn't upgrade my browser until I updated my operating system!" "That required me to upgrade all of my software, too." "My hard disk got maxed out, so I had to upgrade my computer and transfer all of the files." "So, then you got to view the file?" "Yeah...It was a funny one about a cat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #audit, #150 million, #software system, #scrap entire thing, #worthless, #norma software system, #clever combo, #tweak it, #sell the zeros, #few minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I completed the audit of your new $150 million software system." "I recommend that you scrap the entire thing." "What?!! How could the entire thing be worthless?" "Well, your normal software system would be a clever combination of ones and zeros." "Yours is all ones." "There must be some way to tweak it until it works." "My company can sell you all the zeros you need. But you'll have to arrange them yorself." "Whe you have a few minutes, I have a little assignment for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enterprise software, #premium package, #friendly user, #economy option, #cheap one, #never had girlfreind, #adult website, #romantic invitations, #100 percent

View Transcript

Transcript

Our enterprise software comes in two flavors. The premium package boats a friendly user interface. The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life. we'll take the cheap one. I can tell by the ay you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend. I'll send romantic invitations to al the pope on the email address list. Dont worry - i"lll us etc text that I would on a great adult website. when I said that you need to give a hundred percent I shut have been more specific.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #401k plan, #afterlife, #charisma, #evil director, #expected - value basis, #free software upagrdes, #high potential reward, #human resources, #math, #odds seem low, #reward you in aftrelife, #seventy versions, #education, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert: "Your 401K Retirement Plan will be replaced with a 401A plan." "The 'A' stands for afterlife." "You'll get no money in this life, but the company will reward you in the afterlife." Dilbert: "The odds of that happening seem low." CatBert: "Yes, but on an expected-value basis, a high potential reward compensates for low odds." "For example, how many free software upgrades would I need to promise you in the afterlife to make you work yourself to death this year?" Dilbert: "Seventy versions." "I resisted his charisma. But he got me with his math."