Least Reason To Live Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

402 Results for Least Reason To Live

View 141 - 150 results for least reason to live comic strips. Discover the best "Least Reason To Live" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business case, #various mangers, #being misplaced, #kill for personal gain, #buried, #not cremeated, #lasting impression, #earth, #mail corpse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "Today I distributed 36 copies of my business case to various managers for approval." Dilbert sits on the armrest of the couch and continues, "By my count, 20 are being misplaced, 6 managers will try to kill it for personal gain and 10 will come back with irrelevant questions." Dilbert says, "When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can at least make ONE lasting impression on the earth." Dogbert says, "I was planning to mail your corpse to somebody I don't like."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dehumanization, #weekly status, #doubt exostence, #invisible, #pager buzzing, #batteries

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "My status for the week is that the ongoing dehumanization from my job has caused me to doubt my existence." As he waves his hands in front of Wally's face Dilbert continues, "There is reason to believe I am becoming invisible." The Boss asks Wally, "Do I hear your pager buzzing, Wally?" Wally replies, "I doubt it; I don't keep batteries in it." Dilbert disappears with a "plink."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrible news, #valuable porject, #three morons, #assigned, #crush them, #carl, #nothing valauable, #shoo shoo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on the couch with his knees bent and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "Terrible news: my boss assigned me to a fun and valuable project." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh. That means at least three morons will be assigned to similar projects. You must find them and crush them . . ." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Back at the office, Dilbert enters a co-worker's cubicle and says, "Carl, old buddy, whatcha workin' on these days?" Carl waves his hands and says, "Nothing fun and valuable. Shoo shoo!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #saint dogbert, #land of cubicles, #demons, #computer guru, #data base concepts, #monster, #dispatched, #actual code

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Saint Dogbert enters the Land of Cubicles searching for the demons of stupidity." Dogbert walks down the hall wearing a bishop's miter and holding a scepter. The caption says, "Suddenly he finds an over-promoted computer guru spouting useless database concepts." A man sits at a conference table with two glassy-eyed co-workers. The man says, "You'd be fools to ignore the boolean anti-binary least-square approach." The caption says, "The monster is dispatched to the dark world by the sight of its most feared object." Dogbert stands on the conference table holding a document in front of the man. Dogbert says, "Look! Actual code!" The man's head melts into his shirt and a co-worker says, "Cool!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #critical system, #all the power, #essential upgardes, #simple fool, #next emplyee, #vendor issues, #compatibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk and says to Wally, "It's funny - before your company bought that critical system from me, YOU had all the power . . ." Dogbert yells, "But now, only I can provide essential upgrades!! I call the shots, you simple fool!!" Dogbert says, "Send in the next employee." Outside the cubicle Dilbert and another employee are standing in line holding numbers. The man says, "At least we don't have any multi-vendor compatibility issues."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clean, #date, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #kinder, #trouble, #world, #creatures, #peace, #harmony, #pursues, #retribution, #little, #misdeed, #bygones, #forgive, #forget, #studies, #happier, #less, #stressful, #lives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a brick wall. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I dream of a kinder world . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Trouble . . ." Dogbert continues, "A world where all creatures live in peace and harmony . . ." Dogbert continues, "Where nobody pursues retribution for some tiny little misdeed." Dilbert thinks, "Big trouble." Dogbert continues, "Where bygones are bygones . . . Forgive and forget . . ." Dilbert shouts, "Stop it! Stop it! Please just tell me what horrible thing you've done!" Dilbert runs away screaming. Dogbert says, "You know, studies have shown that people with pets live happier, less stressful lives."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bizarre, #dream, #cheerleading, #outfit, #glue, #miniature, #horses, #married, #pressure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sees a woman and thinks, "Oh no, it's Helena. I had a bizarre dream about her last night." Helena says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert thinks, "I'm always afraid that somehow people know when they've been in my dream." Helena says, "Gee . . . Seeing you reminds me of something . . . But I can't quite put my finger on it . . ." Helena continues, "Hmm . . . It was something bizarre." Dilbert thinks, "She knows." Beads of sweat fly off his forehead. Dilbert covers his eyes and cries, "Stop it! Stop it! I'm sorry I made you wear a cheerleading outfit and glue miniature horses to the couch!!" Dilbert says, "There - it's out. The pressure is lifted . . . I can live again . . ." Helena says, "Oh, now I remember -- I was wondering why you've never been married. But now I understand."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #veterinarian, #Dogbert, #doc, #happy, #tongue, #worried, #mirthful

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks toward the Dog Doctor. The veterinarian says, "Hi, Dogbert. How are you?" Dogbert replies, "Not so good, Doc." Dogbert explains, "I have a bad case of 'happy tongue.'" The vet says, "Hmm . . . Is your tongue happy for any particular reason?" Dogbert replies, "No reason at all. I'm quite worried." The vet says, "I'm going to prescribe these tongue depressors. Use one every time your tongue gets too mirthful." Dogbert leaves the office humming. The doctor thinks, "I like that dog."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lamp, #magic, #genies, #released, #wishes, #disturbed, #wiener, #binding, #contract, #relish, #hot dog

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a table rubbing a lamp. Dilbert asks, "Why are you rubbing that lamp?" Dogbert replies, "It's a routine check for magic genies." Dilbert says, "Carry on." A genie pops out of the lamp and says, "You have released me." Dogbert shouts, "Yes!!! Ha, ha!! Now you must grant me three wishes!" The genie replies, "Get real, four-eyes. We don't have a binding contract here." The genie says, "I LIKE living in a lamp. You disturbed me. I'm going to turn you into a wiener and go home." The genie turns Dogbert into a hot dog. He thinks, "At least it's an experience I can relish."