Levels Performance Comic Strips - Page 15

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191 Results for Levels Performance

View 141 - 150 results for levels performance comic strips. Discover the best "Levels Performance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #take six months, #time line, #leadership, #made me unmotivated, #foreseen or unforseen, #wally is dysfunctional, #schedule is random, #looks mad

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The Boss points to a board that says, "Time Line." He says, "The project will take six months..." He continues, "Unless there are unforeseen problems." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Your leadership has made me unmotivated." Dilbert asks, "Is that considered foreseen or unforeseen?" Dilbert continues, pointing at Wally, "And Wally is dysfunctional on many levels." Wally agrees, "I really am." Dilbert asks, "Was that foreseen? Or are you saying the schedule is random?" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "He looks mad." Alice says, "I didn't see that coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #20 % staff, #failing perfromance, #required, #muscles, #money hurlage, #metting, #denounce employees, #criticize

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"The company requires me to give failing performance reviews to 20% of my staff." "There are four of you, so that works out to...80% of a person." "Wally, your calf muscles and ankles are performing well, but the rest of you is monkey hurlage."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Does marketing have any data on customer preferences? Errr grunt! "This is disturbing on so many levels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I got a text message from our boss. "'Keep up wrk'" "What does that mean?" "You just got your annual performance review."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #high level of trust, #employees, #performance, #scam, #business

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Dilbert: Studies show that companies with a high level of trust in employees also perform the best. Boss: If you ever start performing well, I'll trust you, too. Dilbert: This didn't go the way I hoped. Boss: What kind of scam are you trying to pull?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #stock market, #hedge fund compnay, #investment fund, #misleading claims, #3 week period, #money

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Dogbert: The best way to evaluate an investment fund is to look at its misleading claims of past performance. The Dogbert Hedge Fund beat the market average for a three-week period... that one time. Boss: Can you do that again? Dogbert: It depends on what you mean by "that." ----

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #ergonomically correct, #evil director, #human services, #job perfomance, #chairs, #wellness related

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Our concern for wellness is related to your job performance." Catbert says, "Obviously you won't be getting an ergonomically correct chair any time soon." Catbert says, "And feel free to type as hard as you want."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #test, #product, #fail, #fake, #data

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Dilbert says, "We added a new performance test, but learned that the test itself is flawed." The Boss says, "Now our product fails our own tests and our customers are asking to see the test results." Dilbert says, "Do I have permission to fake the test data?" The Boss says, "I didn't even know data can be real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #fired, #surprised, #mean, #cruel, #reading

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the boss says, "Ted, business is slow, and I have to let you go." The boss says, "But I already did your performance review so I thought you might benefit from constructive feedback." Ted says, "'You're like a blister on a skunk's colon.'" The boss says, "A tiny one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #pay, #money, #bonus, #denial, #rejection, #confused, #stupidity, #cruel

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The boss says, "I can't give you a bonus because another division had huge losses." Dilbert says, "Remind me again why my bonus is tied to the performance of strangers?" The boss says, "I shouldn't tell you this, but we model our compensation program after practical jokes."