Lying Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

164 Results for Lying

View 141 - 150 results for lying comic strips. Discover the best "Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.

Culture As An Asset

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Culture As An Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company, culture, motivation, strategy, buzzword, jargon, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've been telling employees that our culture is our best asset. Catbert: Do they pretend that makes sense? Boss: Yes, because we have a culture of lying to avoid conflict.

Keeping The Hacker Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keeping The Hacker Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cia, spy, hacking, technology, lying, deception, surveillance, cameras

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"

Cyborg Rumors

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, swearing, exaggeration, deception, accomplishment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, body cam, surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags research, truth, accuracy, lying, market research, yes-man, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.

Everything Sounds Like A Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everything Sounds Like A Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, deception, catch-22, accusation, innocence, guilt

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Now that everyone knows you are a liar, everything you say sounds like a lie. Dilbert: You starting assumption is wrong. I didn't lie about anything. Tina: That's exactly what liars say. Dilbert: Excuse me while I bang my head on this table until I pass out.

Pictures Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pictures Lie  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags photos, truth, lying, deceit, photoshop, public relations, pr, appearances

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.

Software Is Never Finished

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Software Is Never Finished  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, deadline, guidance, lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Is the software finished? Dilbert: Software is never finished. Boss: Did you fix all of the bugs? Dilbert: There's no way to know. Boss: I can't manage you if you don't learn to lie. Dilbert: Okay, the software will be perfect in 2.3 days.