Math Trick Comic Strips - Page 15
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152 Results for Math Trick
View 141 - 150 results for math trick comic strips. Discover the best "Math Trick" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 09,
2018
Insulting Within Company Guidelines
Tags #teach, #insult, #compliment, #function, #guidelines, #co workers, #insult co workers
Transcript
DOgbert: I will teach you how to insult your co - workers while staying within company guidelines. The trick is to disguise your insults as compliments. Alice, I admire the way you dress for function over appearance. Alice: Thanks. wait...
Monday February 05,
2018
Sunk Costs
Tags #money, #big business, #logic, #loss, #deception
Transcript
Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.
Friday February 16,
2018
Directionally Accurate
Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money
Transcript
Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?
Wednesday February 07,
2018
Wally Finds Critical Bug
Tags #big business, #bug, #deception, #insider trading, #stock, #trick
Transcript
Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.
Tuesday September 04,
2018
Radical Candor
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #management, #radical condor, #time, #computer
Transcript
The Boss: I've decided to adopt a hot new management trend called, "Radical Condor." The trick is to be direct yet kind at the same time. Dilbert: What were you doing before? The Boss: Let's not get into that.
Wednesday October 31,
2018
Boss Leads All The Way
Tags #business, #encouragement, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #trick, #deadline
Transcript
Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.
Sunday November 25,
2018
Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge
Transcript
Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?
Sunday March 03,
2019
Tags #computer software, #computers, #intelligence, #technology, #trick, #humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.
Monday August 05,
2019
Wally Adopts An Elbonian Baby
Tags #excuses, #office workers, #trick, #work, #adoption, #morality
Transcript
Wally: I've decided to adopt a kid from Elbonia so I'll have better excuses for missing work. Dilbert: Your plan is immoral, uncaring, and socially irresponsible. Wally: And brilliant. Dilbert: No one is saying it won't work.
Friday May 29,
2020
Ceo Does Math
Tags #death & dying, #diseases, #earth, #humans, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus
Transcript
CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.