More Invasive Comic Strips - Page 15
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957 Results for More Invasive
View 141 - 150 results for more invasive comic strips. Discover the best "More Invasive" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 13,
2014
Text Is More Important Than Dilbert
Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #power, #subversion, #text, #text message, #attention, #pellet of attention, #ignore, #superior, #demonstrate
Transcript
Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.
Tuesday March 03,
2015
Tall People Earn More
Tags #anger, #discrimination, #fairness, #height, #money, #salary, #wages, #Women, #tall people, #short people, #performance reviews, #height accordingly, #female workers
Transcript
CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.
Monday May 18,
2015
More Than Garfield
Tags #mondays, #Garfield, #sarcasm, #teasing, #conversation, #antisocial, #alienation
Transcript
Alice: I hate Mondays more than Garfield. Wally: Why do you hate Garfield at all? Is it his total disregard for lasagna ownership? Alice: Don't speak to me again until Tuesday. Wally: One day down, four to go.
Wednesday September 09,
2015
Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing
Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.
Tuesday October 13,
2015
It Takes More Than Luck
Tags #success, #intelligence, #privilege, #nepotism, #obliviousness, #confusion
Transcript
CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.
Saturday April 16,
2016
Being More Honest
Tags #marketing, #advertising, #honesty, #cover-up, #performance, #shortcoming, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.
Thursday October 27,
2016
Alice Takes On More Work
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #workload, #philosophy, #semantics
Transcript
Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."
Friday January 13,
2017
New Hire Makes More
Tags #wages, #salary, #compensation, #fairness, #negotiation, #confrontation, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: I just found out that the new hire makes more than I do. Boss: It isn't my fault that you're a terrible negotiator. Dilbert: I don't like confrontation. Boss: I know. It saves me a lot of money. Shoo!
Saturday February 04,
2017
Days Off Versus More Pay
Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money
Transcript
Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.