Not Happy Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

171 Results for Not Happy

View 141 - 150 results for not happy comic strips. Discover the best "Not Happy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irony, meetings, work ethic, time in meetings, waste of time

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm happy to report that I spent 50% more time in meetings this quarter. Boss: That's not an accomplishment! Meetings are a complete waste of time! Wally: How would I have learned that without a meeting?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irony, managers & supervisors, work ethic, manipulated, management fads, engaged, motivated, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Happy Monday! Thanks to your slavish pursuit of management fads, I feel engaged and motivated! Boss: It's sort of creepy. Asok: I love being manipulated!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, frustration, achieved golas, secret goals, set for you, failed to achieve, anger, exact situation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm happy to report that I achieved every goal you set for me last year. Boss: But you failed to achieve the secret goals I set for you. Dilbert: Why would you have secret goals for me?!! Boss: For this exact situation.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, vacations, work harder, no vacation, boss, time off, employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, optimism, rested, feeling, never happened, flow, dance, sing, light, work, office, employee, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Happy, happy, happy. Dilbert: I'm enjoying a bubble of optimism because I'm feeling rested and no one has been awful to me all day! Wally: How long does it usually last? Dilbert: I don't know. It's never happened before!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags adequate, avoid contact, dance, pride, sing, you are lame, rhythm, happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Now, I give you the dance of the adequate. I am adequate, yes, I am. Oooh, so adequate. As long as I avoid contact with others. Dogbert: You are so lame!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoy, annoyance, corpse, escalade, experience, inexperience, murder, premeditated murder, prototype, scientific, strangle, boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Inexperienced Guy. Coworker: Can you answer some questions about our product prototype? Alice: No, but I would be happy to strangle you with your own lanyard and put your corpse in my boss' Escalade to frame him for the crime. Coworker: That scenario is alarmingly specific. Alice: For this sort of thing, premeditated is the way to go.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags weight, dieting, willpower, denial, circular logic, eating, health, happiness, weight loss, obesity, psychology, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

Have To Promote Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Have To Promote Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad decision, mentor, mentoring, promotions, protege, promote, vice presdient, good news

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

Ceo Buys People On The Internet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Buys People On The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, internet, friends, struggle, buying friends, fake, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.