Office Too Far Comic Strips - Page 15
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1000 Results for Office Too Far
View 141 - 150 results for office too far comic strips. Discover the best "Office Too Far" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 09,
2019
Working From Home
Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #telecommute
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to work from home so I can be more productive. Boss: I can't manage you as easily when you're out of the office. Dilbert: That's why I'd be more productive. Boss: But you'd be missing out on all of this.
Friday August 23,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags #boss, #employees, #hiding, #managers & supervisors, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO is coming for an office visit tomorrow. I need you to tidy up your cubicle and hide in the bathroom when he visits. Wally: Won't he wonder where everyone is? Boss: No, this is more of a "you" thing.
Wednesday November 13,
2019
Not Humanly Possible
Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful
Transcript
boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.
Saturday November 16,
2019
Help Me With Something
Tags #office workers, #compensation, #system, #incentive, #budget, #limit, #smart, #business
Transcript
male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.
Friday November 22,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags #managers & supervisors, #ceo, #office, #questions, #visit, #eyes, #dead, #business
Transcript
dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.
Thursday December 12,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?
Thursday February 20,
2020
What Is The Bra
Tags #office workers, #business, #risk, #assessment, #mock, #teamwork, #acronym
Transcript
office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.
Wednesday February 26,
2020
Ceo In Cubicle
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #private, #office, #cubicle, #common, #work, #employees
Transcript
eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.
Wednesday March 04,
2020
Facial Recognition
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #facial, #recognition, #identification, #social, #media, #history, #business, #office
Transcript
office worker: hi, i'm ... dilbert holding up stop hand: hold on. my facial recognition app has identified you and is now showing me your social media history. office worker: uh-oh. dilbert: it seems it would be unwise for me to touch your hand.
Tuesday March 24,
2020
Passion
Tags #office workers, #business, #live, #parents, #passion, #job, #match, #career, #porcelain, #frog, #fault
Transcript
office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?