Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 15
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 141 - 150 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 16,
2019
Hiring A Millennial
Tags employees, office workers, sarcasm, smartphone, generation, millennial
Transcript
Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday January 20,
2019
Tags annoyance, insults, office, office workers, people, sarcasm, introvert, coworkers
Transcript
Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.
Sunday February 10,
2019
Tags avoidance, irritation, lunch, office workers, relationships, coworkers
Transcript
Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.
Monday January 21,
2019
Very Smart Phd
Tags education, intelligence, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Man: Hi. I'm very smart, but I don't know how to do anything. Dilbert: Where did you get your PH.D.? Man: I didn't say I have a PH.D. Dilbert: You kinda did.
Wednesday January 23,
2019
No Recognisiton
Tags addiction, office workers, social media, video games, expectations
Transcript
Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.
Sunday February 17,
2019
Tags distraction, exercise & fitness, frustration, lunch, office workers, time, walking, coworkers
Transcript
Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.
Monday January 28,
2019
Documents On Chairs
Tags frustrated, office, office workers, paper
Transcript
Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.
Tuesday January 29,
2019
New Forms
Tags business, money, office, office workers, efficiency
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.
Wednesday January 30,
2019
Best Product
Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation
Transcript
Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.
Thursday January 31,
2019
Tweaking Variables
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, strategy, stupidity
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.


