Open Minded Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

154 Results for Open Minded

View 141 - 150 results for open-minded comic strips. Discover the best "Open Minded" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #slow walking women, #squeeze, #oblivious, #time stands still

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking behind a pair of women. He thinks to himself, "Uh-oh.. Slow- walking women." Dilbert looks around them. He thinks, "I can't squeeze around." Dilbert stomps up and down. He thinks, "I'll make footstep noise so they'll notice and move." From behind the women, he says to himself, "It didn't work. They're oblivious slow-walking women!" Dilbert continues thinking, "Time stands still as I wait to take my next step." Alice walks up to Dilbert and says, "Oh no.. It's a pair of oblivious slow-walking women." Alice continues, "I'll throw you over the top. Then you can open the side door so I can go around." Dilbert's feet fly over the women's heads. One says, "Third one today." The other says, "Weird."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #death & dying, #distress, #rearrange bits, #already dead

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All I did this week was rearrange bits on the Internet. I had no real impact on the physical world. I can't rule out the possibility that I'm already dead and I don't know it. Okay, still an open question.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #money, #bertcoins, #digital currency, #anonymous genous, #mail, #attachment, #pirates

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: I'm moning for bertcoins. It's a digital currency created by an anonymous genius. Hey, I'm getting an email from a Somali fellow who wants me to open an attachment. What happened to all of my bertcoins? Bob: Digital Somali pirates!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #office buildings, #work ethic, #prodcutivity, #cubicles, #one clown car

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2013's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone rining, #fired, #judge, #ironic, #threat, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Anyone whose phone rings during this meeting will be fired on the spot. RRRING! Stop judging me with your eyes. Dilbert: It's the only thing that keeps them open.

Robot Dispenses Meds

Thank you for voting.
Robot Dispenses Meds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #medicine, #pill, #anxiety, #deception, #control, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #coding, #code, #control, #efficiency, #purpose, #job, #red tape, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #coworkers, #workspace, #noise, #cubicle, #open floorplan, #etiquette, #fingernails, #toenails

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

Two Choices For Work Space

Thank you for voting.
Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?