Pdas For Employees Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

563 Results for Pdas For Employees

View 141 - 150 results for pdas for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Pdas For Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capitalism, #cruelty, #executives, #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #meat, #announcements, #artificial meat prodcut, #automated robots, #senior management, #manufacturing employees, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #honesty, #lying, #morale, #punishing honesty, #100% perfect, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: Is it just my simulated imagination or are all of the employees lying to me all the time? Catbert: We trained them to be that way by punishing honesty. Robot: How is you project coming along? Alice: 100% perfect! Couldn't be better!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguing, #email, #expectations, #logic, #sleep, #winning, #work ethic, #promptly respond, #employees, #necessary, #brain function, #succumbs to leadership, #dysfunctional moron, #confsuion, #win converstions, #ceo, #health, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.

Fierce Employees Wanted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fierce Employees Wanted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #confusion, #ferocity, #fierce, #hiring, #interview, #job application, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for employees who are fierce! Applicant: Should I punch you or something? I don't know how to play this. Boss: Try acting normal, but angrier.

Employees Should Be Optimists

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #optimism, #optimist, #work ethic, #gullible, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Employees Keep Agreeing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

Dogbert's Recommendations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Recommendations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #consultant, #listening, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults. Dogbert: I recommend doing all of the things your employees have been telling you to do. Boss: I don't see why I should pay you for this. Dogbert: Oh. Then how about doing all the things your competition is doing? Boss: Now, that's a great idea. Dogbert: Good, because that's what your employees have been telling you to do.

Cyborg Rumors

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cyborg, #robot, #employees, #replacement, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Elbonian Slave Labor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Slave Labor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.

Value Of An Employee's Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #ethics, #morals, #morality, #death, #damage, #value, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!