Perfromance Review Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

157 Results for Perfromance Review

View 141 - 150 results for perfromance review comic strips. Discover the best "Perfromance Review" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert's Project Is Late

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert's Project Is Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #raise, #wages, #money, #salary, #catch-22, #anger, #frustration, #labor, #review

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #false logic, #imagination, #managers, #review, #performance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.

The Dogbertium Particle

Thank you for voting.
The Dogbertium Particle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #science, #accusation, #questioning, #discovery, #accusing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I wrote a paper about my discovery of the "Dogbertium Particle" and submitted it for peer review. Luckily, most of my peers are made of pure Dogbertium, which means they are easy to bribe. Dilbert: Bribe? Dogbert: Do you have a problem with that, or are you anti-science?

Tina's Soul Will Live On

Thank you for voting.
Tina's Soul Will Live On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engagement, #review, #shortcut, #honesty, #human resources, #hr, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #reasoning, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #chaos theory

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: When will you finish the technical review? Wally: That will depend on a variety of unknowns. A lot can happen between now and whenever you imagine I might be done with it. No one knows the future. I'd be a liar if I said I did, and you don't want a co-worker who is a liar, do you? Or do you? Woman: Lying would be better than whatever this is. Wally: In that case, I'll have it tomorrow.

Dogbert The Special Counsel

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Special Counsel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trump, #comey, #obstruction, #russia, #collusion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Everyone says you've been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. I've assigned a special counsel to review all of your email and phone logs. Dilbert: I've done nothing wrong. Dogbert: Stop trying to obstruct justice.

Wally Secret Project

Thank you for voting.
Wally Secret Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #laziness, #avoidance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally can you review this? Wally: I'm on an urgent deadline. Boss: What is the deadline for? Wally: It's a secret project. Boss: Why don't I know about this? Wally: I don't know. I haven't studied your ignorance in that much detail.

Rabies Warnings

Thank you for voting.
Rabies Warnings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #warning, #caution, #safety, #liability, #rabies

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Alice, can you review the product warning I wrote? Alice: "Don't start a fight with a rabid raccoon while using this product." You have nineteen pages of rabies warnings. Tina: I was surprised at how many animals there are.

Alice Forgives

Thank you for voting.
Alice Forgives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #revenge, #forgiveness, #bygones, #anger, #vindictive

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.