Poorly Conceived Project Comic Strips - Page 15

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680 Results for Poorly Conceived Project

View 141 - 150 results for poorly conceived project comic strips. Discover the best "Poorly Conceived Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1999's comic on:


Tags #project, #cancelled, #never love agian, #remounce religion

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Dilbert is holding a mug and walking behind Asok. Dilbert says to Asok: "I heard your project got cancelled." Asok stops and says: "What?" Asok screams and shakes his hands in the air in front of Dilbert: "No! No! Why me? I'll never love again!!" Asok's hair is standing up and he is grabbing his tie with wild eyes. Asok says to Dilbert: "I renounce my religion." Dilbert says: "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #future me, #came to help, #project, #miserable, #sewerage, #got bad assignments

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Dilbert and the future Dilbert are at the Boss's office. Dilbert tells the Boss: "A future me built a time machine and came to help on my project." The future Dilbert tells the Boss: "Hello, you miserable pile of solid sewerage." The future Dilbert turns to Dilbert and says: "You always got bad assignments after today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #without input, #lied to me, #skipped that step, #already assigned blame, #for failure

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Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #engineering liason, #project staus, #translate for clients, #never completed, #idiot clients, #change requirements

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The Engineering Liason says to Dilbert, "Tell me your project status and I'll translate for our clients." Dilbert says, "The project will never be completed because our idiot clients change the requirements every other day." The Engineering Liason responds, "I'll just say you're drunk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bucky the project manger, #assignment, #painfully difficult, #unnecessary, #complaining to boss

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Bucky approaches Dilbert, "I'm Bucky, the project manager." Handing Dilbert a piece of paper, Bucky says to him "Your assignment is painfully difficult and probably unnecessary." Bucky continues, "If you need me, I'll be complaining about you to your boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #three bulls points, #summarize, #project, #invent words, #new words, #splrgy, #noobah, #pizkwat

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Dilbert speaks at the podium. "I've been asked to summarize my project into three bullet points." Dilbert says, "I had to invent some new words." Pointing to these words (Splurby, Noobah, Pizkwat), Dilbert says "Believe me, you don't want to be any of these things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #save millions, #project, #twenty million, #year to complete, #topper, #one better, #do better

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Dilbert, The Boss and Topper are sitting at a conference table. Dilbert says, "My project will save the company a million dollars." Topper says, "Mine saves twenty million." Dilbert says, "My project will take a year to complete." The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "Mine takes a week." Dilbert says, "Topper, I have half a mind..." The Boss looks dazed as Topper twitches and says, "I have one percent of a mind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #next generation, #internet project, #cute single women, #low standard

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Wally, sitting between the boss and Dilbert, says, "My next generation internet project is right on schedule." Wally says, "It'll be done sometime in the next generation." Wally continues, "If you know any cute single women with low standards, it would really help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dating, #unattractive, #ugly, #woman fixes up, #project, #combover, #stay out of wind, #relationships

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Alice approaches Noriko who is sitting at her desk. Alice asks, "I'm dating an unattractive man. What should I do?" Noriko replies, "Every man is ugly until a woman fixes him up. Think of it as a project." Alice stands with a clipboard in hand as she lists her unattractive man's faults, who sits before her, obviously balding. She says, "Next, lose the combover, or at least stay out of the wind." The man asks, "How did you know about the combover?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #boyfreind, #project, #turtlenecks, #jeans, #fish, #training for marathins, #cry at movies, #the boyfriend project, #makeover, #clothes, #body, #animals

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Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice hands her boyfriend clothing and says, "I'm putting you in turtlenecks and jeans." As the boyfriend changes into his new clothing, Alice continues, "You don't like to fish anymore. Now you're training for marathons." The boyfriend begins to wail, screaming, "WHAA! WHAA!" Alice replies, "You can only cry at movies."