Remember Imporatance Comic Strips - Page 15

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180 Results for Remember Imporatance

View 141 - 150 results for remember imporatance comic strips. Discover the best "Remember Imporatance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2007's comic on:

Tags #vacation time, #off next week, #cures eyou, #so much work, #die! relieve stress, #unsupportive

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The boss: "Remember to use all of your vacation time before year end." Asok: "I'm off next week." The Boss: "What! I curse you for taking time off when we have so much work to do! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" "Anyway, the point is that vacations help relieve your stress."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2007's comic on:

Tags #flash, #java script, #website, #fast guy in tights, #movie about coffee, #code words, #remember, #technology

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The Boss: Then we program the web site using a fast guy in tights and a movie about coffee. "Correct me if I'm wrong." Dilbert: "We use flash and java script." "I said 'IF'!!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2007's comic on:

Tags #alice quits, #2 weeks notice, #20% raise, #calls father, #quitter, #moron, #raise instead of quit

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The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2006's comic on:

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"There's one thing you should know..." "Whoa, whoa, Asok!" "What?" "Never tell him anything when he's distracted." "He won't remember what you say. Later he'll blame you for not telling him." "Also avoid telling him anything when he's angry, late, or busy." "And don't tell him anything when he's tense or hungry." "That doesn't leave much." "I usually wait for a yawn." Yawn! "My project is behind schedule because the vendor lied!!!" "The next one is all yours."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2006's comic on:

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"According to my benchmark tests, our product is the worst one on the market." "Maybe you can tweak the numbers." "Fake them?" "Fake is such an ugly word." "Just remember that your next raise depends on the sales of that product." "And mistakes happen. A decimal place can be either here or there." "All I'm asking is that you do the tests again...while drinking." "I always wondered what job satisfaction felt like."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2005's comic on:

Tags #upgrade computer, #non standard equipment, #cubicle, #den, #non stardard, #onitor, #healing, #clense, #upgraded computer, #abacus

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I asked the I.T. department to upgrade my computer. "They're coming here??!" "We must hide our non-standard equipment!" "Uh-oh." "So-o-o... this den of non-standardization must be your cubicle." "This non-standard printer is coming with me. And I don't remember that monitor on our list." "I must cleanse your cubicle of non-conformancce so the healing can begin." "Surely my upgraded computer will arrive soon." Months later "Abacus?" "Please shut up."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2005's comic on:

Tags #deadline, #upcoming, #annual performance review, #finish on time, #agree to disagree, #no raise, #excuses, #disrespect for workers, #annual review, #not paying, #not fare wages

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"Your project deadline is next month, and I can't imagine you finishing on time." "So I dinged you on your annual performance review." "But... I will finish on time." "Well, let's agree to disagree."<r>"What?!" "You're basing my raise on what you IMAGINE I won't do in the furture!" "Relax. If you do finish the project on time, I'll factor it into your next annual review." "Well... Okay. I guess it all averages out." One Year Later "Remember the project that I finished last year?" "No. But the new one looks like it will be late."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2005's comic on:

Tags #patent application, #3 emails, #rude, #insulting, #condescending, #back plane, #gizmo

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"Remember to include my name on the patent application." "Why? You didn't help." "That's ridiculous! I've been helping you design that thing for months!" "I saved all three of your e-mails. Allow me to read them." "'Dude, is something wrong with your brain?'" "Later: 'Hey, Dilweed, maybe you should replace the backplane with a gizmo.'" "Then my personal favorite: 'Dilbag, I'm glad you took my advice to leave the backplane alone.'" "That's my way of helping." "It's great. You should patent it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2004's comic on:

Tags #fiduciary responsibilty, #maximize shareholder value, #quality, #safety, #top priority, #obeying law

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"Remember, quality is our top priority." Quality "Question: Is it more important than safety?" "Ooh... I forgot about that one." "Question: Is quality more important than obeying the law?" "Well, probably not." "If we could maximize shareholder value by selling lower quality items..." "Wouldn't we have a fiduciary responsibility to do it?" "Hmmm" "I'm sure it's in the top four." "What if we had to lie to achieve quality?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2004's comic on:

Tags #leadership meeting, #no pen, #no notes, #no decison, #no leadership

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CEO: This was a productive four hour leadership meeting, Id like one of you to type up your notes and send an email to the entire company. No one took notes? The Boss: I didn't have a pen. CEO: Okay no problem, does anyone remember what we decided? The Boss: We agreed to increase...something No, decrease something. CEO: Never mind. lets try it gain on thursday at 8AM Carol: When is the next leadership meeting? The Boss: I should have written that down.