Sarcasm Comic Strips - Page 15
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270 Results for Sarcasm
View 141 - 150 results for sarcasm comic strips. Discover the best "Sarcasm" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 29,
2020
Ceo Does Math
Tags death & dying, diseases, earth, humans, sarcasm, pandemic, virus
Transcript
CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday May 30,
2020
Why Use Tests
Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose
Transcript
Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.
Sunday June 14,
2020
Need Boss To Make Decision
Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.
Thursday June 04,
2020
Factories No Buyers
Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison
Transcript
Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.
Saturday June 06,
2020
Confident Wrong Guy
Tags boss, confidence, employees, insults, obliviousness, office workers, sarcasm, hire
Transcript
Boss: I hired a guy who is always wrong, yet he is inexplicably confident. Alice: Why? We already have one of you. Boss: I don't know what you meant by that. But I am confident it is wrong.
Monday June 08,
2020
Disbanding Task Force
Tags boss, business, decision, office workers, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.
Wednesday June 10,
2020
Hate Edits
Tags criticism, office workers, sarcasm, edit
Transcript
Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.
Thursday June 11,
2020
Better Fast Than Good
Tags boss, email, office workers, sadness, sarcasm, time, truth
Transcript
Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.
Friday June 12,
2020
Great Idea
Tags boss, idea, office workers, sarcasm, trick, truth, evidence
Transcript
Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.
Monday June 15,
2020
Real Data
Tags decision, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, facts
Transcript
Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.


