Sarcasm Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

270 Results for Sarcasm

View 141 - 150 results for sarcasm comic strips. Discover the best "Sarcasm" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Does Math

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death & dying, diseases, earth, humans, sarcasm, pandemic, virus

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.

Why Use Tests

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Need Boss To Make Decision

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Factories No Buyers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

Confident Wrong Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Confident Wrong Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, confidence, employees, insults, obliviousness, office workers, sarcasm, hire

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a guy who is always wrong, yet he is inexplicably confident. Alice: Why? We already have one of you. Boss: I don't know what you meant by that. But I am confident it is wrong.

Disbanding Task Force

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, office workers, sarcasm, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Hate Edits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hate Edits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, office workers, sarcasm, edit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.

Better Fast Than Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Better Fast Than Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, email, office workers, sadness, sarcasm, time, truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.

Great Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Great Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, idea, office workers, sarcasm, trick, truth, evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.

Real Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, facts

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.