Scoffing Sound Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

184 Results for Scoffing Sound

View 141 - 150 results for scoffing sound comic strips. Discover the best "Scoffing Sound" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #employees, #trusted advisor, #dumb plan, #boss, #employee, #saying no, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #thinking, #decisions, #unsupported belife, #paraphrase incorrectly

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Spare me the tedious technical details. I make my decisions based on the people involved. Dilbert: So you replaced your unsupported belief that you could spot winning projects with an unsupported belief that you can identify winning people? CEO: Stop making it sound dumb! Dilbert: Should I try paraphrasing it incorrectly?

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

Thank you for voting.
Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #personal business, #work ethic, #work load, #work call, #payment, #time management, #handled arguement, #bodd, #employee, #repremand, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #job, #job description, #managers, #manipulation, #taking advantage, #task, #whiney quitter, #resourceful entrepreneur, #personal growth, #outside the box, #key to greatness, #assigning wrong people, #mow lawn, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.

Tina Interviews Wally For Article

Thank you for voting.
Tina Interviews Wally For Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deception, #economist, #fraud, #interview, #jargon, #lying, #website, #total fraud, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally The Economist. Tina: I have to interview you for our website. And since you are a total fraud as an economist, why don't we skip the interview and I'll invent some quotes from you? Wally: That sound economical. Tina: Don't even try.

Embellishing Resumes

Thank you for voting.
Embellishing Resumes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #resume, #lying, #deception, #accomplishments, #management, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.

Try Leaning In

Thank you for voting.
Try Leaning In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #help, #Advice, #bad advice, #careers, #Promotion, #success, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I feel as if my career has stalled. Dilbert: Have you tried leaning-in? I hear good things about that. Tina: How do you sound helpful and offensive at the same time? Dilbert: Some say I have a gift.

Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #verbiage, #technical, #jargon, #deception, #logic, #team player, #babble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #internet, #types of people, #internet comment, #Opinion, #discussion, #fame, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm Dick, from the Internet. I'm the guy who always says ridiculous, angry stuff. I misinterpret every comment you make as an absurd absolute and then I attack it like you are a moron. Dilbert: That doesn't sound fun. Dick: Wow. So you are saying everything in the world needs to be fun. Maybe you should do some research before you embarrass yourself like that again. Dilbert: Hey! You are the guy from the Internet! Dick: I'm sending you five links that are not as relevant as I think they are. Dilbert: You're famous!