Taken Training Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

197 Results for Taken Training

View 141 - 150 results for taken training comic strips. Discover the best "Taken Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #orchestra od data, #ironic spelling, #geneous mistro

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and a coworker are meeting. The coworker holds up a sign and says, "We named the product 'Geneousmistro' because it conducts an orchestra of data." The coworker continues, "Can you believe the domain name 'Geneousmistro' wasn't already taken?" Dilbert asks, "Is the spelling meant to be ironic?" The coworker replies, "Why do you ask?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #send threatening emails, #train new guy, #easily downsize later, #boss threatens alice, #job security, #male, #female, #training, #alices bad advice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brown bag seminars, #ethical, #ethics problems, #seminar

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The company will be holding a series of brown bag seminars on corporate ethics. Dilbert:is it ethical to steal our lunch hour and pretend that the ethics problems sent come from our executives? The Boss: I wouldn't know because I haven't taken the seminar.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #young dilbert, #mother, #kitchen denied permission, #skateboard, #construction site, #jumped off cliff, #credibility, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gay boss, #nelson, #male, #no bomus, #train to be boss, #support family, #gay, #dating rugby team

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina, this is your new supervisor, Nelson. You'll be training him to be your boss. The Boss: There won't be any bonuses this year because i gave it all to nelson. he's a man, sio he needs to support a family. Nelson: Im gay The Boss: Um....civil union and adoption, right? Nelson: Im dating a rugby team.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Welcome to Dogbert's school for zombies and/or certified project managers. "The training is the same for either profession. The main difference is that zombies get more sun." "Repeat after me: I want to calendar an on-site post cutover support review meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "We'll send your engineers to our free training course." "The training is held on our own island retreat." "I'm going where?" "Fecalruba."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

You work in a cubicle while your routers and servers have a private office with their own climate control. "The machines have taken over. Your job is to provide them with electricity." "And do you think those electronic voting machines care about your opinion?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rich people, #stock market, #victims, #insider training, #victimless crime, #rose bushes, #gardner, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I did some insider trading and totally got away with it. It felt great! It was a victimless crime so I feel no guilt whatsoever. Dogbert: Do you know what victimless means? CEO: Yes. It's like the time I strangled my gardener for overwatering the rose bushes. Dogbert: I see the problem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #breaks down, #cries, #date, #endless stories, #huge defects, #restaurant, #series of stoires, #soul crushed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!