Ten Million Comic Strips - Page 15

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337 Results for Ten Million

View 141 - 150 results for ten million comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Million" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, can, one, believe, dog, industry, suppose, give, it, away

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Ten dollars . . . It's my final offer." Dogbert says, "Okay, but you can only use one hand." Dilbert pats Dogbert on the head. Dilbert says as he hands Dogbert ten dollars, "I don't believe this is now standard in the dog industry." Dogbert replies, "Oh, right, I suppose the others give it away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, yesterday, price, no-rabies, warranty, plain, wag, pet, booth, business, stand

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Dogbert sits behind a box with a sign that says, "Pet me. $5.00." Dilbert says, "Hey! You charged me TEN dollars yesterday!" Dogbert explains, "Five dollars is just the base price. I charge extra for an extended no-rabies warranty and other add-ons." Dilbert says, "I'll take a 'plain.'" Dogbert asks, "Wag or no wag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, ted, item, vacation, increments, regular, work, days, vacations, avoid, assignments, minutes, cough, better, take, some, sick, time

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Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, japanese, offer, company, ceo, employees, laid off, accept, neener, Dogbert

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A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, alice, laid off, bruce, calculated, friends, pay cuts, company, gosh, office, furniture

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand behind a man's desk. Wally says, "We're sorry to hear you're getting laid off, Bruce." Wally continues, "We calculated that if ten of your friends here took ten percent pay cuts then the company can keep you." Bruce says excitedly, "Gosh! You'd do that for me?" Wally replies, "No. We're here to look at your office furniture."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags language, Dilbert, Wally, zimbu, zoo, engineer, cafeteria, donuts, skills, staff, meeting, monkey

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Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dance, Dilbert, eye contact, spots, wall, awkwardly, hate, smile

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Dilbert sees someone walking down the hallway toward him. Dilbert thinks, "Now for the 'Dance of the Eye Contact.'" Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "I pretend to look at spots on the wall. If our eyes meet too soon we'll have to awkwardly smile for ten seconds." Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "Now!" The man thinks, "I hate the first smile of the day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, discriminating, female, years, compensate, past, injustices, therefore, argument, effective

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A female robot says to Ruebert, "Males have been discriminating against females for a million years." Ruebert thinks, "Guilt attack." The female robot says, "Therefore, YOU must compensate ME for past injustices." Ruebert says, "You know, for a ridiculous argument, it's nonetheless quite effective." The female robot says, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, episode, amazing, ignorant, people, history, perished

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Dogbert: On today's episode of, "Dogberts amazingly ignorant people" we talk to people who don't know history. How many people perished because of world war II? Man: Uh... 400? Dogbert: The answer is fifty million. Man: Oh... Rounding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, lenin, twenty, bucks, king, commies, available, stores, dollars, wall, communism

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Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and a man standing against a building whispers, "Pssst! Dog! Would you like to purchase Lenin's body?" The man continues, "Twenty bucks. He's in great shape . . . The king of commies . . . Not available in stores." Back at home, Dogbert pushes a man's body against the wall. Dilbert asks, ". . . And you talked him down to ten dollars?" Dogbert asks, "Do you like it better against this wall?"