Test Phase Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

213 Results for Test Phase

View 141 - 150 results for test phase comic strips. Discover the best "Test Phase" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm Betty the Bulldozer, and I always get what I want!" "Drop everything and start doing my bidding now, intern!" "This was just a test. Wait here until I need something." shiver

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #on payroll, #fool proof dna, #identifying losers, #dna doesn't match, #too many losers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert: Your problem is that you have too many losers on the payroll. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof DNA test for identifying losers. Well, I'm afraid your DNA doesn't match mine, loser.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"This product will leapfrog the iPod and provide pleasure to all five of your senses." "The user can download pictures, smells, tastes, and celebrity tickling patterns." "The test group preferred it over eating. They're all dead." "It has the coolness factor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #count on cooperation, #scent of failure, #bath, #submerged, #fix it

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can I could on your cooperation for the next phase of the project?" Woman says, "No." Woman says, "You emit the musky scent of failure. Women can detect that sort of thing." Dilbert says, "Would a bath fix it?" Woman says, "How long are you willing to stay submerged?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antique thing, #defective prodcuts, #free up funds, #larger volume, #longer test, #sales force, #quality control budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I cut the quality control budget to free up funds to increase our sales force." Dilbert says, "So your strategy is to sell a larger volume of defective products?" The Boss says, "The quality will be fine. The tests will just take longer." Dilbert says, "So...It's an antique thing?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #mandatory stretch, #employee welness, #good and flexible, #new place, #tuck your head, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #control men, #plan, #exaggerate, #overwork, #overextend, #yell, #important, #panic, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I learned to control men by exaggerating the importance of my projects and overextending myself." Alice says, "Our most important customer is coming and I won't be ready on time unless you fetch me some coffee!" Alice says, "In phase two, I make you enjoy it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #basic research, #donuts, #stupid, #increase profits, #stern, #sit in chair, #first bite

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm doing basic research to test my theory that donuts make other people stupid." The Boss says, "I expect you to do basic research that will increase our profits this quarter." Wally says, "Wow. It works on the first bite."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mother, #son, #sarcastic, #plant, #flower pot, #web only company, #imagination, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My company is going to a web-only business model." Mom says, "That's terrific." Mom says, "What's phase three? Does it involve operating only in your own imagination?" Dilbert says, "Be nice." Mom says, "Maybe you can help me grow this plant back into a seed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company lawyer, #recall, #poisonous spines, #shake hands, #quality assurance, #arms out

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer Lawyer says, "We should consider doing a recall on our product." Lawyer says, "When it warms up, it explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."