Worst Advice Comic Strips - Page 15

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269 Results for Worst Advice

View 141 - 150 results for worst advice comic strips. Discover the best "Worst Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #therapy, #bossy, #session, #therapist mean, #comments, #insulting, #Advice, #hurtful, #looks, #date, #psychology

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Dilbert: I have uncontrollable urges to show people better ways to do things. Do you think the real issue might be my insecurity? Therapist: Well, I wouldn't date you but thats mostly because of your looks. Dilbert: Not helping,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #online ereume, #older chubby men, #key words, #married men, #job offers, #cousin, #Advice, #one line job hunting

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"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #company relocating, #high crime, #tax reasons, #ceo says, #limo, #parking garage, #chain bike to whino, #advice from ceo

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The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2006's comic on:


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"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late." "I have the worst case of jet lag ever. I'm still a baby in this time zone." "I don't think it works that way." "Hey, I just got a crazy idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2006's comic on:


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I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2006's comic on:


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"Gaaa! You put your gum on this recyclable waste material!!!" "How do you like it in your hair? Huh? Not so funny now is it, tree-killer!" "The worst part is that I envy him for being passionate about his job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2007's comic on:


Tags #new dress code, #consolidating, #offcies, #20 people cubicle, #impossible, #thin film pil, #no clothes, #bad conditions, #worst place work, #awards, #demoralize, #inhumane, #horrid conditions

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Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2007's comic on:


Tags #barbecue, #freinds, #no freinds, #make freinds, #jogger, #desparte, #meat, #social skills, #no social skills, #random, #Advice

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Dilbert: Maybe I should invite some friends over for a barbecue. Dogbert: "You don't have any friends." Dilbert: "Good point. Maybe I should make some friends first." Dogbert: "Exactly." Dogbert:"Do you like meat?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #avoid facts, #cubicle, #paid commissions, #sales engineer, #truth, #sales rep

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The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #cold learning, #cruelest, #don't wear a coat, #first lesson, #good liar, #sales support engineer, #seeking advice, #how to lie

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Dilbert: I'm a sales support engineer now. Can you teach me to be a good liar? Dogbert: Sure. Meet me on the porch, and don't wear a coat; the cold will help the learning. The first lesson is always the cruelest."