Bank Off Head Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for bank off head comic strips. Discover the best "Bank Off Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #threw computer, #off roof, #killed customer, #replace, #look a like, #worker, #clones, #coverup

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The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrific conversationalit, #write code, #while you complain, #embraced, #date, #end of date, #kiss good night, #hug, #mean things, #said

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Dilbert is dropping his date off after a date. She says, "Thanks for taking me to dinner. You're a terrific conversationalist." Noriko and Dilbert embrace as Dilbert says, "With you, it's easy." They are about to kiss when Dilbert continues, "I discovered that I can write code in my head as you complain about your job all night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #need bodies, #outnumbered, #marekting, #bucket head, #business

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Wally and Dilbert are walking by when the Boss signals for them to come with him and says, "Hey, Come to this meeting. I need some bodies." The Boss continues, "I don't want to be outnumbered by marketing." Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and another man sit at the table. A dummy body has been propped up next to Dilbert, with a bucket for a head. Dilbert turns and says, "Hi." The other man says, "He's on our side."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donut head, #face, #hole, #hole in head, #man is brief, #no face, #real no brainer, #resume, #blank paper

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The Boss sits at his desk with a piece of paper in front of him and says, "Frankly, the job is a real no-brainer." A person with a huge hole in their head sits in front of the desk as the Boss continues, "Your resume is a blank piece of paper. I like a man who can be brief." The man with the hole in his head sits between Wally and Dilbert. Wally is eating a donut and coffee. Wally turns to the man and says, "You're ruining my donut experience."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market expert, #microphone, #tail off camera, #makes me wag, #honest work

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Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert sits behind a desk in front of a camera. The cameraman hands him a microphone and says, "Clip this microphone to your fur. We're live in two." Dogbert responds, "Make sure my tail is off camera. I'll be recommending stocks I own and that sort of thing makes me wag." The cameraman thinks to himself, "Someday I gotta get honest work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #list, #on head, #pimples, #trolls, #finance trolls

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Dilbert and the troll are walking. Dilbert says to the troll, "So, if all trolls were once people, that means some people are already changing and don't know it." The troll replies, "Exactly." The troll opens a book and says, "This is the list of people we're waiting for." Dilbert sings to Wally, "I know something you don't know." Wally touches his head and says, "I think I'm getting pimples on my head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day off, #move my home, #one hour, #negotiate, #can't use vehicle

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Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product is defective, #expect delivery, #quality s primary goal, #opposite of philosophy, #rich philosophers, #swiss bank

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Dilbert tells the Boss while handing him some documents: "My tests prove our product is defective." While the Boss is examining the documents, Dilbert says: "Customers expect delivery tomorrow." Handing the documents back to Dilbert, the Boss says: "Our corporate philosophy is 'Quality is our primary goal.'" Dilbert asks: "So... you want me to delay shipment until we fix the problems?" The Boss answers: "No." The Boss says: "I want you to ship now so we can book the revenue." Dilbert exclaims: "GAAA! That's the opposite of our corporate philosophy!!!" The Boss replies: "Now you know why there aren't any rich philosophers." Reclining on the couch at home with Dogbert, Dogbert tells Dilbert: "There used to be one, but he believed I was a Swiss bank."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety tip, #bend knees, #bang head, #art or science

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The Boss types, "Safety Tip of the Day:" The Boss continues typing, "Always bend your knees when banging your head against a wall." The Boss thinks, "I can't remember if managing is an art or a science."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training cd, #brainwashed, #cuborg, #insurance, #cosmetic surgery, #jump off roof, #game system

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Asok is half cyborg. He sits on the doctor's table and says, "My training CD went bad and brainwashed me to become a cyborg." The doctor responds, "Your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery but you can game the system by jumping off the roof." Asok is on the roof, standing next to a man with intensely large ears. The man says to Asok, "I hear that the follow-up visits don't get any easier."