Done Forevre Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for done forevre comic strips. Discover the best "Done Forevre" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email two copies, #fax, #green paper, #email, #files, #hard copy, #internet, #motivation gone, #losing consciousness, #lazy employees, #technology

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Dilbert stands at the boss' desk. The boss says, "e-mail two copies to me when you're done." Dilbert says, "Two copies? It's e0mail." The boss says, "So?" Dilbert says, "Never mind. I'll e-mail two copies." The boss says, "and fax a copy in green paper for my files." Dilbert says, "Green? It's a fax!" The boss walks Dilbert out of his office and says, "And bring me a hard copy of the internet so I can do some serious surfing." Dilbert begins to faint in the doorway. Dilbert thinks, "Motivation.... gonve.. losing consciousness.." Dilber joins the pile of passed out employess by the boss' door. The boss thinks, "How did I end up with all the lazy employees?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #without supervsion, #teal, #hassle, #show himself out

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The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "No. I need continuous supervision to keep me from stealin' and harassin'." The boss: "I think we're done here." Candidate: "Do you mind if I show myself out?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bill for consulting, #past year, #all in head, #recommendation, #status quo, #everything right

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Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calculate expected value, #pretend to be dead, #cover ears

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Dilbert: The best way to make this decision is by calculating the expected value of each possible outcome. you multiply the... The Boss: Must pretend to be dead. Dilbert: I sense that were done here. The Boss: I hope the dead sometimes cover their ears.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #police action, #neotaiotor, #evaluation form, #surrender

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Police Negotiator "SURRENDER NOW AND YOU WON'T GET HURT!!!" "Here he comes." BAM BAM BAM "I'll leave an evaluation form. Please let us know how we're doing." "Done deal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealth layoff, #evil director, #human resources, #worthless employees, #job no longer exists, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I didn't think it was possible, but for the past month I've done my own job plus Ted's, and done them well." "I know that you're marveling at my accomplishment and wondering how you can reward me." "Maybe I can fire Carl and make this idiot do his job too." "I'll be we're thinking of the same bonus amount!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, I've been watching you for half an hour and you've done no work." "I'm waiting for my program to compile while I design the next module in my head." "Could you grimace so I know you're working?" "Here you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, what's the status on the RDP project?" "Am I working on that one?" "You've been in charge of it for a year." "Oh. In that case, it's almost done." "Half of being a manager is living with a vague feeling of uneasiness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illegal plan, #change minds, #panning for gold, #soirit

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The legal department says your plan is illegal. "Ask them again." "Maybe they'll change their minds." "I'll get on that as soon as I'm done panning for gold in the water fountain." "That's the spirit!"