Ethics Offcie Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

195 Results for Ethics Offcie

View 151 - 160 results for ethics offcie comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Offcie" comics from Dilbert.com.

Unethical Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.

Fix It With Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fix It With Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.

Animal Testing Is Done

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Animal Testing Is Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app, #technology, #addiction, #morals, #big business, #ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The animal testing for our app is done. The app is so addictive that Zimbu the monkey was hospitalized for starvation while using it. I think we all know what we need to do. Boss: Submit it to the app store?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hazmat suit, #harrass, #wear suit, #harrasment, #offcie, #prevention, #dressed up, #human resources, #inappropriate delivery, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

Ted Dies By Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Dies By Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #bug, #program, #programming, #morals, #ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our self-driving car went off a cliff with Ted in it. Did you tweak the software to make that happen? Dilbert; No, that was a bug. Wally: Was it a known bug? Dilbert: Now we're getting into a gray area.

Dilbert Won't Kill

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Won't Kill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #morals, #ethics, #self-driving cars, #murder

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!

Value Of An Employee's Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #ethics, #morals, #morality, #death, #damage, #value, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!

Brains In A River

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brains In A River - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenics, #ethics, #laziness, #yelp, #online review, #comments, #feedback, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Being the owner of a cryogenic investment firm is a lot of work. So instead of keeping my customers' brains frozen, I decided to toss them in the river and hope no one notices. The best kind of customers are the ones who can't write bad Yelp! reviews.

Illegal Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Illegal Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #legal, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.