Hate Automatically Comic Strips - Page 16

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246 Results for Hate Automatically

View 151 - 160 results for hate automatically comic strips. Discover the best "Hate Automatically" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #make ted quit, #aggressive replacement, #share resources, #job unbearable, #pants, #in same pants

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The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #prima donna, #indeispensable, #being obnoxious, #undermining authority, #pants optional zone

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"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #die die, #evil eye, #respect, #sat down wrong, #wedgie

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Tina: He doesn't respect my work. I can tell by the way he's sitting. "Two can play this game. I will hate you with the fury of a thousand suns!" "Die! Die! Die~" Dilbert: "Rats. I sat down wrong and gave myself a wedgie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #landing, #hard landing, #no oparachute, #mud, #elbonia, #glasses, #suitcase, #jumped, #plane

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Wally: I hate landing in Elbonia. "Whump!!!" wally: "Hi. I'm from America and I'm hree to help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #high crime area, #fiduciary, #misconducting, #cfo, #kicked, #beat up

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Alice: "I hate walking to work in this high-crime area." "Take this, you fiduciary misconducting *#@!%" "That was our C.E.O."<Br>"I know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #forgetting things, #hospital, #odctors, #exam room, #monkeys brain, #replace brain, #medical

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"I keep forgetting where I put things." "The problem is that you're stupid." "I recommend replacing your brain with a monkey brain." "Will that help?" "No, I just hate monkeys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2005's comic on:


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I need you to pick up Ted's function. "No problem. I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero." "Or are you asking me to do something that's logically impossible?" "I think I hate you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2006's comic on:


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Your resume looks great. I see no reason you wouldn't be an excellent phone center employee. "Mwab blah glob wobmah tob muh wah wah." "This job got a lot less stressful once I realized I hate our customers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2006's comic on:


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I invented a search engine that's also a singles matching service. "It automatically matches singles who search for the same keywords." "And then it threatens to e-mail those keywords to their mothers if they don't agree to date." "I have taught you well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2006's comic on:


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"Good news, Carol: The new office supply catalog is here!" "If you leaf through it and imagine that you can order things, you'll get a mild shopper's high." OFFICE "Now...I know how much you hate the phrase 'in lieu of a raise'..."