Hire Third Time Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for hire third time comic strips. Discover the best "Hire Third Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #hire you, #challenge, #inhumane working conditions, #without break, #four hours

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The Boss: So, mister rather, why should I hire you to work in my call center? Ratbert: I thrive on the challenge of inhumane working conditions. Watch me go without a rest room break for four hours, The Boss: You're hired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #20% more money, #hire someone, #loyal, #40% more, #science, #mime, #wall blocks

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Dilbert is in the boss's office and he says to the boss: "Another company offered me twenty percent more. Will you match it? The boss answers: "No, I prefer to hire someone who is loyal, even if I have to pay forty percent more." Dilbert shakes his hands looking angry and says: "Managing is supposed to be a science!" The boss holds up his hands in front of him and says: "My mime wall blocks your sound."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bury, #bury them, #dig, #eight patent ideas, #hiding, #literally, #not growing, #shivel, #intern, #free time, #appearences

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The Boss tells Asok the Intern while examining some documents: "Wow! You've developed eight patentable ideas, Asok." The Boss continues: "We'll have to bury them or else it will look like we have too much free time." Digging in a field with a shovel, Asok the Intern says: "Then I said, 'Literally?' And then he said..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #face time, #software, #man makes face, #imitating worker, #discourage from raise, #costs money, #discouraging, #engineering

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The Boss: Come in to the VP's office with me. you need to get some face time. Dilbert: What is Face Time? The Boss: Its very important. man: and this is you asking for a raise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dilbert not buying it, #excuses, #get information, #hate people, #promise, #resentment, #saves time, #advance

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Dilbert is sitting at a table with a co-worker. The co-worker tells Dilbert: "I'll get this information for you." Dilbert replies: "No you won't. You'll wait until I hunt you down and then you'll say you were too busy." On the couch at home with Dogbert, Dilbert says: "Today I started hating people in advance." Dogbert replies: "It saves time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont pay enough, #hire brilliant people, #web team, #stock options

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An employee explains to the Boss: "We don't pay enough to hire brilliant people for our web team." She continues: "I need webiot savants who don't know they should have better jobs." At a hiring interview the the applicant says: "I'd expect stock options, of course." She turns and yells, "Next!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more work, #fewer people, #future version, #via time machine, #porject, #unmotivated

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Dilbert tells the Boss: "As requested, I came up with a plan for doing more work with fewer people." He points to a picture of a contraption: "A future version of me will arrive via time machine to help on the project..." He continues: "...unless you say something now that makes me unmotivated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #from the future, #time machine invention, #stick finger, #hole

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An older Dilbert with an oddly shaped head materializes in Dilberts cubicle. The future Dilbert says to Dilbert: "I am you from the future. Your time machine invention works." Dilbert asks: "How does my head get like that?" The future Dilbert points to a hole in a box that he wears at his chest and says: "Stick a finger in this hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #return to future, #majesty, #retroactive, #time travelers, #boss around, #dance

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The future Dilbert says to Dogbert: "I must return to the future now, your majesty." Dogbert says: "The don't call me majesty, yet." The future Dilbert says: "You'll make it retroactive..." He continues: "...so you could boss around the time travelers." Dogbert says: "In that case, dance for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fake disability claim, #disabled, #hard to believe, #note from doctor, #obvious, #long time

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Wally says to Dilbert as he pours himself a cup of coffee in the break room, "I'm thinking about going out on a fake disability claim." Wally and Dilbert are walking with a cup of coffee in hand. Wally goes on to say, "Do you think anyone will believe I'm disabled?" Dilbert replies sarcastically to himself without speaking, "It's hard to believe you're not." Wally enters The Boss' office and asks, "Do you need a note from my doctor?" The Boss replies sarcastically unenthused, "No, it's been obvious for a long time."