Life As Intern Comic Strips - Page 16

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View 151 - 160 results for life as intern comic strips. Discover the best "Life As Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #promote, #excited, #dance, #annoyed, #arrogant, #limbo, #exist

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The Boss says, "Asok, you've been such a good intern that I've decided to promote you." The Boss says, "Your new status is called limbo. You will exist in a plane between the living and the damned." Asok says, "Yes!!! I will exist!" The Boss says, "Great. It went right to his head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attend meeting, #request, #busy, #meet halfway, #not showing up, #half of life

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wally, can you attend my meeting friday? wally: Im very busy, but I'll meet you half way, what does that mean in this context? wally: they say half of life is just showing up. so...you will be .... wally: Doing the other half.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusion, #fear, #firings, #humor, #meeting, #panic, #downsized, #spam folder, #recession, #intern, #business

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The Boss says, "You still work here? I thought I downsized you last week." Asok says, "Um?I don't think so." The Boss says, "Check your spam folder after the meeting." Dilbert says, "First recession?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #criticism, #economy, #budget, #anger, #business

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The boss says, "The economy is circling the drain. I need each of you to take a 10% cut in pay." Asok the intern says, "I don't have much cushion in my budget. Yesterday I boiled my shoelaces for dinner." The boss says, "Remind me not to accept any dinner invitations to your house." Asok the intern says, "Don't worry!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal advise, #economy, #pay

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Asok the intern says, "Pssst! I'm doing black market I.T. support to make up for my recent cut in pay." Man says, "Isn't this illegal?" Asok the intern, "Not according to my black market company lawyer." Alice says, "So it's legal to punch vendors?" Dogbert says, "Sure, if they deserve it." Dogbert says, "That's $100, please."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay, #economy, #nervous, #crazy

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Catbert says, "Asok, we need to cut your pay again. But maybe you could get a second job." Asok the intern says, "Second???" Asok the intern says, "I am already doing freelance I.T. support?and donating blood?and working as a male escort." Catbert says, "I don't need the details." Asok the intern says, "Running guns...Robbing graves...Starting a hedge fund..."`

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temp, #angry, #bragging, #fighting, #violence, #injury, #pain

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Overqualified temp Asok the intern says, "It's funny that you're a Rhodes scholar yet you can only find work as a temp." Asok the intern says, "I am only an intern and yet I enjoy the power and prestige of being your supervisor." Asok the intern says, "In retrospect I shouldn't have challenged her to a cage fight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #lunch, #investing, #money, #crime, #trick

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Wally says, "I retired from my life of corporate crime and put all of my illicit earnings in a mutual fund." Dilbert says, "How do you know the mutual fund is legitimate?" Wally says, "What?" The boss says, "We got all of the money back?" Dogbert says, "We?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #plan, #lying, #marketing, #screaming, #guilt, #business

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The boss says, "In phase one, we'll tell our customer that the system failure won't happen again." Not us! The boss says, "In phase two, when it happens again, we'll act surprised." The boss says, "Then we'll say a software patch is being installed." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! We're bad people!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #realization, #angry, #useless, #meaningless, #breakdown, #screaming, #yelling, #ignoring

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The boss says, "Asok, I want to scrub the CPS database." Asok says, "No one uses that data." Asok the intern says, "But you are incapable of admitting error. So now I must dedicate my time to a thoroughly useless task." The boss thinks, "This job got easier when I stopped listening." Asok says, "It's like death, but without the glamour!"