Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 16

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

434 Results for Long Nose

View 151 - 160 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agents, Dilbert, drugs, nutrition, government

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert opens his door and two agents wearing dark sunglasses and holding guns show him their identification badges. The agent says, "We're the government. We came to confiscate your so-called 'Happiness Drug.'" As the agent holds his gun to Dilbert's nose, Dilbert says, "It's not a drug! It's just a mixture of fruits and vegetables that makes you feel happy! You can't outlaw good nutrition!" The other agent says, "Hmm . . . I guess that wouldn't make sense, would it?" The agent says, "Ignore him. He's a new guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dogbert, law firm, accounting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm from the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert and Dogbert. I'm suing you for draining the life force out of your employees." Dogbert holds a rag and says, "After being drained of life, employees are forced to leave the company. The lucky ones get jobs as rags for a car wash, like Joey Pishkin here." The Boss blows his nose on a rag. Dogbert says to the rag he's holding, "What Joey? That's Marge from accounting???"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, the boss, worklife balance

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to the Boss, "I can't keep working these long hours . . . I deserve a family life." The Boss says, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . ." The Boss says, "This isn't the 'me' generation of the eighties. This is the 'lifeless nineties.' I expect 178 hours of work from you each week." Alice says, "There are only . . . Uh, 168 hours in a week." The Boss replies, "I expect your family to chip in a few hours."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags outdoors, Dogbert, man

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the sidewalk humming. A man says, "Hey, Dogbert! Long time no see!" Dogbert covers his ears and says, "Ow!!" Dogbert says, "I've never been good at suffering fools."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, mentoring, matt, co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Matt is fresh out of engineering school. You'll be his mentor." The Boss continues, "Whatever you do, don't crush his spirit before Wednesday." Dilbert asks, "Why put it off so long?" The Boss replies, "Because I bet ten bucks we could string him along until Thursday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, hit man for mob, get away with murder, cute, self complimentary, conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Have you ever noticed how incredibly cute I am?" "Look at this little black nose, soft furry ears, adorable little tail...with these looks I could get away with murder." "I'm thinking of becoming a hit man for the mob." Dilbert: "I'm glad we have these little talks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags back of neck, humane, layoffs, tranquilizer, unemployment offcie, wake up, shooter, gun, knocked out

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The layoffs will be handled in the most human way possible. POW! Dilbert: How long does the tranquilizer last? The Boss: he'll wake up at the unemployment office,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags static, copyright, fifty billion, film library, blow deal, copyrighted everything

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You can't copyright the static on blank TV channels! Dogbert: "I already did." Dilbert: "You can't let my company pay fifty billion dollars to buy your so-called film library." Dogbert: "I already am." Dilbert: "I may have to blow the whistle on this deal." DOgbert: "It'll have to be a nose whistle - I copyrighted everything else."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inflation eating, no real opportunity, other compnaies, downsizing, miss the 80s, get away with anything

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "You've got inflation eating you from the bottom...and no real opportunity for a promotion." "And as long as all the other companies are downsizing too, you have no leverage. I can get away with anything!" Dilbert: "I miss the eighties." The Boss: "Does this hurt?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book publishing, reject people, dismiss lifes work, gesture, witty comment, not a people person, dog, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."