Making No Sense Comic Strips - Page 16

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399 Results for Making No Sense

View 151 - 160 results for making no sense comic strips. Discover the best "Making No Sense" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #quality assurance, #find flaws, #object intense, #hatred, #ridicule, #fix flaws, #respect, #special bond, #relationships

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Dilbert says, "Ratbert, my company is hiring for our quality assurance group. You'd be perfect." Ratbert asks, "What would I have to do?" Dilbert replies, "You would find flaws in our new product, thus making yourself an object of intense hatred and ridicule." Ratbert says, "But then you'd fix those flaws . . . And your respect for me would grow into a special bond of friendship, right?!" Dilbert replies, "No, then we ship."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #product mock up, #last week, #don't make prodcut, #competitors product

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A man stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Thanks for making that product mock-up last week. The customer liked it so much that he ordered a thousand!" Dilbert says, "That was a MOCK-UP! We don't even make that product yet. It would take three years to make one." The man says, "Just give me a thousand mock-ups. The first one was terrific!" Dilbert replies, "The mock-up was our competitor's product with duct tape over the logo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #iron man event, #improve teamwork, #stairs, #potatoe, #good hspae, #wrenched muscle

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying his briefcase. Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "My boss is making the engineers compete in an 'Iron Man' event. It's supposed to improve teamwork." Dilbert sits on the couch and says, "I'm glad I take the stairs sometimes instead of using the elevator. I'm in pretty good shape." Dilbert flexes his arm and feels his bicep. Dogbert says, "Yes, you are, to the extent potato is a pretty good shape." Dilbert says, "I just wrenched a muscle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #resume, #looks good, #interested, #brilliant engineer, #pay cut, #savings account

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Dilbert sits at a table with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your resume looks good, but we could only pay half of what you're making now. Are you interested?" The woman replies, "So . . . You're looking for a brilliant engineer who is actively seeking a pay cut?" Dilbert says, "Well, you have to consider the many intangibles." The woman asks, "Such as my savings account if I worked here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business startegy, #example, #good strategy, #learn, #panty hose, #ratbert the consultant, #walmarts

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Alice, Ratbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "'Wal-Mart's' business strategy was very successful. You can learn from their example." Alice asks, "Does their strategy involve sitting around and making irrelevant comparisons to other companies?" Ratbert replies, "All I know for sure is that they don't let rats try on all the pantyhose in the store." Wally says, "Good strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cloud of doom, #zaps everyone, #once a minute, #past behavior, #indication of future, #won't happen again

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Dilbert sits on a bench with a woman wearing charred clothing. Dilbert says, "I have a cloud of doom that zaps everyone near me once a minute." The cloud hovers over Dilbert. Dilbert continues, "I'm looking for a woman who deson't think that past behavior is an indication of the future." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert continues, ". . . A woman with absolutely no sense of pattern recognition." The woman says, "Ouch. I'm glad that won't happen again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #plundered, #downsized, #equity, #massive stock options, #victory seems hollow, #meaningful contribition, #book deal, #trophy wife

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Dogbert walks by empty cubicles. He thinks, "I've downsized this company and plundered its equity by excercising my massive stock options." A chauffer holds the door as Dogbert gets into his limosine and thinks, "Yet my victory seems hollow. Something is missing." Dogbert sits on the couch with Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Maybe you're missing a sense of meaningful contribution to society." Dogbert relies, "Maybe... but I'm thinking book deal and trophy wife."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #mutual fund, #investors, #know alternatives, #huge market, #invest, #index fund, #wag hard

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Dilbert sits on the couch. Dogbert says, "I'm starting a mutual fund for investors who aren't bright enough to know their alternatives." Dogbert says, "It must be a huge market. Otherwise most people would invest in index funds." Dilbert asks, "What's an index fund?" Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Ouch, ouch!! You're making me wag too hard!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert research co>, #focus group, #carefully screened, #loser choices, #opposite, #what recommended, #skipped jury duty, #liver transplant

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Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #deputy of common sense, #four hour meeting, #behind schedule, #agenda, #morale is low

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During a staff meeting, Dogbert stands on the table holding his gun and says, "FREEZE!!" Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and says, "You scheduled a four-hour meeting to find out why people are behind schedule!" The guy says, "No, look at the agenda! The fourth hour is about why morale is so low. A woman next to him whispers to Dogbert, Shoot him."