Minute To Cool Comic Strips - Page 16

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186 Results for Minute To Cool

View 151 - 160 results for minute to cool comic strips. Discover the best "Minute To Cool" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, brain wash, company profits, more imprtant, employers engagement, 12 hour days, work for money

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Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, origin story, company, need, various things, clear, boss, request, office, request secretary, write up story, business

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Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work load, complaints, inexperinced, exact opposite, doesn't know much, hired useless man, bad attendence, not perfect, ask questions

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Boss: You complained about your work load, SO I hired an inexperienced guy to help. Dilbert: This is exactly the opposite of what I wanted. Boss: He doesn't know much, But he makes up for it by asking lots of questions. Dilbert: So He'll be bugging me every minute? Boss: Not every minute. He takes a lot of sick days. Dilbert: So....you hired a guy who is useless, But its okay because he also has bad attendance? Boss: Its not a perfect world. Is this a good time to ask some questions?

Mansplaining The Network

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Mansplaining The Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mansplainer, mansplaining, relations between the sexes, sexism, frustration

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Mansplaining. Man: Let me explain how our network is designed. Alice: I personally designed our network and I know far more about it than you ever will. Man: Do you know what a cloud is? Alice: It's where you'll be playing your harp in a minute.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, facebook, twitter, pinterest, instagram, obliviousness, technology, communication

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Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.

Click Rate On Death Alerts

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Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, technology, analytics, smart watch, app, ad, click, clickbait, attention, distraction

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Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

Dilbert Eats A Berry

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Dilbert Eats A Berry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags google, internet, off the grid, question, query, allergy, berry, reaction, swelling, anaphylaxis, technology

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Dilbert goes off the grid: minute three. Dilbert: I wish I could Google this berry before eating it. What's the worst that could happen? Wow. This is a very specific answer to my question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, type, introvert, dominant, submissive, interpersonal, relationship, coworkers, conflict, argument, competent, magic, psychology

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Coworker: The reason we keep having conflicts is because of our personality types. You're an impulsive, dominant personality and I am more of a... Alice: Useless waste of space? Coworker: I was going to say I'm a reserved, introspective, people-pleaser. One personality type is not better than the another. We just see things differently. Alice: How do you explain the fact that I have never had a conflict with anyone who is competent. Coworker: Give me a minute to reflect on that. Alice: Let me know when you're done believing in magic.

Software Killed Ted

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Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, software, free will, behavior, murder, anger, glitch, malfunction, control, self control, psychology, engineering

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Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Robots Will Do The Dangerous Jobs

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Robots Will Do The Dangerous Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rights, civil liberties, technology, robots, abuse, bias

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CEO: Our plan is to use robots for all the jobs that are dangerous or demeaning. No one cares if a robot gets ripped to shreds in an industrial accident. Robot: Eh? CEO: Are we cool? Robot: I'm cool, but you're going to be room temperature.