Open Floor Plan Comic Strips - Page 16
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752 Results for Open Floor Plan
View 151 - 160 results for open floor plan comic strips. Discover the best "Open Floor Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 07,
2005
Tags wites to website, eating toast, file open, stupidest question
Transcript
Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday October 19,
2005
Tags delete incriminating email, witness to crime, no good plan
Transcript
I need you to delete all of our incriminating e-mails before the court sees them. "That plan is no good because I'd be a witness to the crime...unless you had me killed." "Phase Two is none of your concern." "It has a phase???"
Friday December 16,
2005
Tags desperate venture capitalist, vjay, business plan, napkin, lunch, table, break room, money, throws money
Transcript
Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "Does anyone need a napkin to write on?" "What are you thinking now? Could it be a business plan?" "TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE IT!!!" "He's nice."
Monday March 06,
2006
Tags illegal plan, change minds, panning for gold, soirit
Transcript
The legal department says your plan is illegal. "Ask them again." "Maybe they'll change their minds." "I'll get on that as soon as I'm done panning for gold in the water fountain." "That's the spirit!"
Monday April 17,
2006
Tags drunken lemur, written by, project plan, other drunken lemurs, lemur analogies
Transcript
I need your honest opinion about my project plan. Don't hold back. "Your plan looks like it was written by a drunken lemur as a practical joke on other drunken lemurs." "Today I learned that people don't like drunken lemur analogies."
Wednesday April 19,
2006
Tags project plan, stupidity, leaping off page, simple, won't work
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle
Thursday April 20,
2006
Tags engineers, project plan, won't work, problem solver
Transcript
Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."
Monday May 01,
2006
Tags new vice president, billon dollars, garbage barge, oceanfront realestate, open business, barge
Transcript
"I worked all year on a project that got canceled today because we got a new vice president who didn't like it." "I made a billion dollars by convincing suckers that a garbage barge was oceanfront real estate." "Would you lend me some money so I can open my own business." "No, but I know some people on a barge who would."
Sunday December 26,
1999
Tags totally correct, time under budget, give up features, shoebox falloff yarn, yarn is free, open door policy, serious threat, new design
Transcript
Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."
Sunday May 07,
2000
Tags presidential candiditae, funny haired one, social policies, exact opposite, tax plan, bad plan, make out, like intelligent men, she lied
Transcript
Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."