Talking Comic Strips - Page 16
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Character
268 Results for Talking
View 151 - 160 results for talking comic strips. Discover the best "Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 11,
2009
Tags talking, ridicule, criticism, depressed, sad, mean
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I see my job as giving you the information you need to make the right decision." Carol says, "I see your job as e-mailing me links to web sites full of stale and incomplete information." Dilbert says, "Can we go back to pretending I'm useful?" Carol says, "Sure. I'll give you a pity listen."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday August 22,
2009
Tags sitting, talking, discussing, plan, deception, greed, corruption
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll start ten mutual funds, each with randomly chosen stocks." Dogbert says, "Later we'll build our advertisements around whichever one does the best purely by chance." Dogbert says, "My goal is to be the premier provider of imaginary expertise." Wag! Wag!
Tuesday September 08,
2009
Wednesday September 16,
2009
Tags sitting, talking, angry, annoyed, stupidity, ridicule
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, I thought it was time for us to have a little mentoring session." Alice says, "How does this make sense when I'm more capable than you in every imporant way?" The Boss says, "Maybe we can skip the part where I say you need to be more confident and speak out at meetings." Alice says, "Duh,"
Tuesday September 29,
2009
Tags talking, retirement, planning, drinking, coffee, pessimistic
Transcript
Retirement planning in a bad economy Wally says, "Retirement planning is all about timing." Wally says, "I'm planning to die from global warming on the same day I run out of money." Wally says, "That's one more advantage of being frail. I figure an hour without sunscreen ought to do the trick."
Monday November 23,
2009
Tags sitting, talking, vendor, pitching, idea, praying, agreeing, begging, promises, ridiculous
Transcript
Man says, "We have the best hidden costs of any vendor." Man says, "Our upgrade and maintenance fees won't kick in until you've already received a bonus for reducing costs." Man thinks, "Please, please, please be a sociopath." Wally says, "Sounds good. I'm not a big fan of our stockholders."
Thursday November 26,
2009
Tags talking, asking, emotions, angry, hatred, annoyed, mean
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, I want you to feel more emotionally invested in the vision and mission of the company." Carol says, "My only emotion is anger. You can have as much of it as you want." The boss says, "Maybe I can inspire you with my leadership." Carol says, "I feel like I'm wearing concrete underpants."
Monday November 30,
2009
Tags secret, research, gmail, email, lying, talking, director, coffee, science
Transcript
Wally says, "The director of our top secret research group wants to borrow me for six months." Wally says, "During that time, you will not know where I am or what I'm working on." The Boss says, "I need to hear this from the director." Wally says, "I'll ask him to email you from his gmail account."
Sunday February 13,
2011
Tags honesty, less meetings, less micromangemt, managers & supervisors, meetings, more meetings, more with less, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We have to learn to do more with less." Dilbert says, "Less meetings?" The Boss says, "No. We'll need more meetings to figure out how to do more with less." Alice says, "Less micro-management?" The Boss says, "No, I'll have to watch you more closely than ever to make sure you're doing mroe with less." The Boss says, "I'm talking about using less money." Alice says, "Oh, like a death spiral. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Alice says, "It's as if you're talking more to say less." Dilbert says, "Should we be more like you or less?"
Sunday December 28,
2008
Tags Advice, buzzing of flies, channel irrational impulse, coffe machine broken, confusion, ignoring, intern, nervousness, talking, thirst for coffeee, vp of engineering
Transcript
Asok thinks, "It's our vice president of engineering." Asok says, "Hello. I am Asok the intern, may I tell you about an idea I have?" Wally says, "Vice presidents can't hear us, Asok. To them, our voices sound like the faint buzzing of flies." Wally says, "If you want to give him your idea you have to do it indirectly." Wally says, "Tell someone who knows someone, who know's someone else, who knows the vice president." Wally says, "Or do what I do and channel your irrational impulse to be useful into an unquenchable thirst for coffee." Asok says, "So...What are you helping me?" Wally says, "The coffee machine is broken."

