Tv Remote Control Comic Strips - Page 16
241 Results for Tv Remote Control
View 151 - 160 results for tv remote control comic strips. Discover the best "Tv Remote Control" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 06, 1992's comic on:
The panel contains the title, "Dogbert's Home Safety Tips." Dogbert says, "It could save your life!" The caption says, "Tip #1: Children can swallow anything smaller than a sofa. Attach boards to vulnerable appliances." Dogbert attaches a piece of wood to a toaster while a baby watches. The infant tries to swallow the toaster and the board sticks out of his mouth. Dogbert says, "Ha ha! Nice try, Billy!" The caption says, "Tip #2: Your household may have a member who can legally vote but probably shouldn't." Dogbert stands next to a man in a chair and says, "Try tricking them into missing the election." Dogbert tells the man, "We're a communist regime now. You don't have to vote." The man says, "Shoot!" The caption says, "Tip #3: Your television is trying to steal your life's savings." A man on tv says, "I personally pray over every check you send." Dogbert tosses the television out a window and says, "Your only hope is to push your television out a high window." The caption says, "If everybody does it, we just might get lucky." The tv falls toward the televangelist who is walking on the sidewalk below.
Share May 30, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Do you think the chemistry of the brain controls what people do?" Dilbert replies, "Of course." Dogbert asks, "Then how can we blame people for their actions?" Dilbert replies, "Because people have free will to do as they choose." Dogbert asks, "Are you saying that 'free will' is not part of the brain?" Dilbert replies, "Of course it is, but it's the part of the brain that's out there just being kind of free." Dogbert says, "So, you're saying the 'free will' part of the brain is exempt from the natural laws of physics." Dilbert answers, "Obviously, otherwise we couldn't blame people for anything they do." Dogbert asks, "Do you think the 'free will' part of the brain is attached or does it just float nearby?" Dilbert replies, "Shut up."
Share October 28, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert stands on the conference table. Dogbert holds a pointer. Dogbert says, "Our target market is the gullible moron segment." Dogbert points at a television. Dogbert says, "Our commercials will feature an actor who seems sincere." The actor on the TV says, "I care about the rain forest... and you." A couple sits on the couch and watches TV. The voice from the television says, "I like kittens... and you." The man says, "Wow.. we made it into his top two."
Share June 26, 1994's comic on:
"The new lab supplies are in!" "We got the batteries, and the electric motor!" "Take the wheels off the hand truck and we can start building our go-cart." "I think I'll drop in on the lab." "What are you working on now?" "We're building a linear accelerator." "Marketing insisted." "Good, good. Carry on." "We really don't appreciate him enough." "Let's put a TV in this baby."
Share May 12, 1996's comic on:
Tags #new vp, #cost containment, #first priority, #reduce expenses, #office supplies, #supply cabinet locked, #butter efficient secreatray, #naive question, #dispirited hollow shells, #product shoddy, #get supplies, #like honesty
The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Asok, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like you all to meet our new vice president in charge of cost containment." The VP says, "My first priority is to reduce our spiraling expenses for office supplies." The VP continues, "From now on, your supply cabinet will be locked." The VP continues, "The only key will be under the control of your bitter and inefficient secretary. Questions?" Asok raises his hand and says, "I am only an intern so please excuse this naive question . . ." Asok continues, "I've noticed that the employees are all dispirited hollow shells, management is random and our products are shoddy." Asok asks, "How are you going to solve that by making it hard to get supplies?" The VP looks angry. Asok says to Wally, "I thought you said they like honesty." Wally whispers, "Ask how much he's paid. It shows you care."
Share June 02, 1996's comic on:
Phil the Ruler of Heck watches Dilbert and thinks, "My next victim." Phil says, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck!!" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Hi, Phil." Phil says, "You must choose one of these two hideous fates to pay for your sins." Phil continues, "You can choose eternal high pay, but all of your work will be burned in front of you at the end of each day . . ." Phil continues, "Or you can choose eternal poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated." Dilbert says, "WOW! They're BOTH better than my current job!" Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, you might want to get in on this!" Wally confesses, "I watch tv when I'm supposed to be telecommuting." Phil thinks, "I hate the nineties." Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Do me first!"
Share July 14, 1996's comic on:
Alice sits at her desk. The Boss enters and says, "According to this phone bill, you've been making personal calls." The Boss continues, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice clenches her teeth, holds her fist and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." Alice looks at the telephone bill and says, "I only spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late." Alice says, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time." Alice closes her eyes and imagines the Boss tied up with rope. She pictures handing him a stick of dynamite. Alice says, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me." The Boss replies, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive." Alice says, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."
Share January 05, 1997's comic on:
The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like your input on something." Alice thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My intuition is activating the fist of death. Must . . . Control . . ." They sit at a conference table and the Boss says, "Our corporate culture is bad." The Boss continues, "I'm trying to find the cause." Alice replies, "Well, obviously the problem isn't caused by managers who have no self-awareness . . . So what could it be?" Alice continues, "The culture problem must be coming from the other direction. Some EMPLOYEE must be causing this problem!" Alice continues, "I think it's the guy in the mail room. His bad culture is infecting the rest of us." The Boss stands in the mail room. A man says, "If this is about that conference room full of mail, I don't know how it got there."
Share November 23, 1997's comic on:
The Boss stands at Alice's desk. The Boss says, "When you show this to our VP. Put in some revenue figures." Alice says, "There's no revenue. All we're doing is upgrading our network." The Boss says, "I might have told him the project has revenues." Alice grits her teeth. The Boss says, "Lets not confuse him by changing the story now." Alice covers her eyes. Alice screams, "Yi-yi-yi." Alice says, "O-o-o-okay. How much revenue do you want? A million dollars?" The Boss says, "I might have told him it was more." Alice screams, "Just tell me what lie to use!!!" The Boss says, "Can't you calculate it on the spreadsheet?" Alice's fists clench, Alice's eyes bulge. Alice thinks, "Must control....fist..of...death..."
Share March 30, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert sits on the couch next to Dilmom. Dilbert says, on the phone, "Dogbert, Mom told Bill Gates she uses the "Linux" operating system!" Dogbert stand at a large control panel which included a radar screen. Dogbert says, "I'm tracking four incoming missles. I'll launch our anti-miscrosoft weapons to intercept." Three reporters fly through the air towards a missle that has "MS" on its side. One of thre reporters says, "I wondered why a press conference was being held in a huge catapult."