Two Alternatives Comic Strips - Page 16

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #hallway, #dignity, #Sports

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Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Oh no . . . If this guy turns left when I go right, we'll end up walking down the hall right next to each other." The man turns and walks next to Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . A huge, empty hallway and here we are synchronized like two of the Rockettes." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So that's when I knocked on the ladies' room door, yelled 'janitor' and ducked inside." Dogbert says, "At least you maintained your dignity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heck, #shame, #minor

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Dilbert says to Phil the Ruler of Heck, "Gosh, I thought 'Heck' was just a figure of speech." Phil replies, "Yeah. A lot of people think they can get away with minor infractions." Phil says, "According to my records, last month you deliberately asked for THREE little ketchups at McDonald's when you KNEW you only needed TWO." Dilbert says, "I knew that would come back to haunt me. Look, I still have the extra one. I'll give it back!" Phil shakes his spoon at Dilbert and says, "Shame shame . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fashion, #different, #notice, #control, #bold

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Notice anything different, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing THREE pens, not just two." Dogbert says, "That's a pretty bold fashion statement." Dilbert replies, "I guess I was out of control."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #joke, #pun, #puns

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Dilbert: I can't believe it; all this time I thought dinosaurs were extinct, but they were just hiding in my house. Hello, A-1 Exterminator? I have dinosaurs... what kind?... I don't know. I've only heard them... Dinosaur: Thesaurus. Dilbert: Maybe a Thesaurus or two... hello?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #ripping, #flesh

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Dilbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "Okay then, if you two dinosaurs want to continue hiding in my house you have to observe the house rules." Dilbert continues, "Let's see . . . Uh . . . Remain out of sight . . . Don't leave the lights on when you're out of the room . . ." Dilbert asks, "Am I forgetting anything, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'No ripping the flesh off the other residents.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human, #garlic bread, #restaurant, #no pets, #cats

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Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a hat, walk into Scaparotti's Restaurant. There is a sign in the window that says, "No pets." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just try to act human." Dilbert says to the waiter, "Two ravioli supremes and garlic bread." Dogbert adds, "And a cat . . ." Dilbert says, "That's 'catsup,' my friend would like some CATSUP." Dogbert says, "Maybe something Siamese."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #newspaper, #thief, #machine, #money, #eating

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Dilbert puts a coin in a newspaper machine and thinks, "Sometimes I get this wicked urge to take two newspapers and only pay for one." Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "What's the worst that can happen? Besides, this machine ate my money last time." Dilbert looks at a newspaper. On the front page is a picture of him stealing the newspaper and the headline says, "Thief!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #junk mail, #mail, #condo, #sales, #jeep cherokee, #emerald

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Dilbert reads a piece of mail and says, "Wow! And I thought this was just more junk mail!" Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "All I have to do is drive two hours and listen to their condo sales pitch. I'm GUARANTEED to win a Jeep Cherokee or a valuable mock emerald." Dogbert responds, "That emerald will go pretty well with your mock brain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #communism, #ex-communism, #elbonia, #capital, #Politics, #backward, #country, #airport

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The caption says, "Dilbert arrives at the ex-communist country of Elbonia." Dilbert says to a man in uniform, "I need a flight to your capital." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "For a moment I was worried that this backward little country wouldn't have a commuter flight." Two Elbonian women watch as Dilbert is flung from a giant slingshot. One woman says, "I hate living near the airport."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #capital, #mud, #country, #blue, #jeans, #communism, #capitalism, #Dilbert

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The caption says, "Dilbert takes a slingshot ride to Elbonia's capital." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "There it is . . ." Dilbert lands in the mud and thinks, "It's a good thing this whole country is made of mud." Dilbert says to two Elbonians and a pig, "I have come to teach you capitalism." A pig asks, "Did you bring blue jeans?"